iLove my best friend
by SeddiexTwilight
Summary: Sam has some problems with her stupid boyfriend Jacob and her mom.But what if Freddie who's secretly in love with her finds out? Rated T for following chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"_I'm really sorry..." I said to Jacob, my__ nice and cute boyfriend. _

_We were sitting together on a bench near the Bushwell Plaza. It was a hard week 'cause there was a special iCarly and me, Freddie and Carly had to do a lot of stuff. Of course I tried to meet him but I just had no time. So we just met two times._

"_It's ok." He smiled at me with his wonderful blue eyes, I just jumped inside. _

"_I'm sorry but you know iCarly is important to me and I don't want that you're mad...." Maybe I was annoying but we were only going out for three weeks__ and I was still doubtful. I wasn't doubtful because I didn't love him...I still didn't believe that he's dating me. So I just wanted that everything is perfect._

"_I know this. I told you before I'm NOT angry! But I'm getting angry if you don't stop." There was this smile again. And then he leaned in and kissed me._

"_Okay?" I nodded and then he leaned in again....another sweet and soft kiss._

* * *

Sam's POV

I'm standing at my locker and wait for Carly, she's late….weird. And then a person arrives. I really think or hope its Carly or Freddie. But no it's not Carly it is Jacob. I should be happy that my boyfriend is here but I'm not. Why? He isn't my nice and cute Jacob anymore.

"Hey Babe what's up?" Before I can answer he kisses me…..well it's not the sweet and soft kiss I remember. I don't like it. Who cares? He definitely doesn't. I always thought to a kiss belong two lovers but he just put his tongue roughly deep in my mouth.

"See you!" As fast as he came he leaves now….just like always. I really miss my boyfriend.

I don't know when he started to change but I think it began a month ago. Where is Jacob? At the beginning of our relationship everything was okay. He loved me and he didn't hide it. When we talked he always listened to me and I felt safe on his side. Well he changed…..

"Sam!? Could you talk to me?" I looked up.

* * *

Freddie's POV

"Oh it's just you Freddork..." she said and turned around and put some stuff in her locker. Yes just me…Freddork, I want to be more then her punching bag. Yeah it sounds weird but I _love_ her. Yes I fell in love with the girl who is always teasing on me. I realized this a few months ago. I was going to tell her but then there was this cute-looking guy with his stupid blue eyes.

* * *

"_You can do this Benson, you'll just tell her…" I thought to myself. Just….easier said then done. I was going to tell Sam Puckett that I'm in love with her. I still couldn't __believe that I sent this message._

"_Can we meet us at 5 pm at the park?_

_-Freddie"_

_And I still couldn't believe that I was walking to the park. I walked along the street listened to a song from "The midway state". Well I didn't really listen to the song I just heard it in the background. And then the park appe__ared in front of me. I held on there she was the blonde girl named Sam….Sam. One time I breathed deeply again. And then I went over to her._

"_Hi…" I said. She looked happy….. maybe because I was here? "Okay now don't get crazy Freddie!"_

"_Sa…" She interrupted me before I could finish her name._

"_He likes me, too!" She smiled at me so happy._

"_Who likes you...too?" I asked I didn't really want to know. Running away and hide were better._

"_Jacob! He asked me out today. Isn't that great?" She laughed and was so happy. And I was just near crying._

"_Yes, Great…" I whispered._

"_Oh I almost forgot….What do you wanted to tell me?"_

"_Nothing….." It's nothing that would be important to you._


	2. Chapter 2

_**So here's the next chapter :) And thank you for these nice reviews!**_

_**They make me happy v(^.^) **_

_**Oh and I don't own anything!**_

Chapter 2

Sam's POV

"Where's Carls?" I'm really wondering. Why is she still not here? I mean she's Carly Shay the cute girl with good marks. Carly Shay would never come too late.

"Carly is ill. She has fever and she feels very bad." He just said.

"Really?"

"Uhm... Yes. I was at her apartment and there I saw that she was lying at her bed, had fever, felt bad and looked bad sooo I guess she's really ill." He laughed. Ok I know it was a stupid question but I can't allow that Freddork is making fun of me.

So I _have _to hit him.

"That hurts!" He grimaced with pain.

"I hope so! You shouldn't make fun of Sam Puckett." He, Fredweird definitely shouldn't.

"There's no reason to overreact." He touched his hurting shoulder.

Maybe I shouldn't overreact... But he doesn't know anything about my reasons. _Nobody_ knows. Everybody always thinking that I'm the bad girl who likes ham. But nobody knows about my drunken mom who's always with another guy. Nobody knows about my black and blue marks on my back or the painful kicks and slaps my mom gives to me almost everyday. And I don't want that anybody knows about this...

* * *

Freddie's POV

What's wrong with her? I know she likes to hit others especially me but she could also take a joke. But in the last time... Of course she gives Gibby a wedgie but something is wrong. Just watch her face if you look at her you can't see her mean smile or can't hear her evil laugh when she did something to a teacher or to me. I know it. I know _her_.

"Like you kno..." she doesn't finish the sentence. Just looks down on her feet.

"Like I kno.... What?" What? I want to know! Sam always says what she's thinking.

"Whatever...." And there again this depressed face.

It's killing me. Why can't she just tell me what's wrong. Maybe I'm her punching bag, maybe I'm a Nerd but I'm also her friend... her best friend.

And it's killing me this unknown I hate it. I finally want to know. I wouldn't care if she's with Jacob or with me, I wouldn't care if she gives me everyday hundred wedgies or if she'd hate me. I just want see her evil smile, hear her evil laugh...I just want her to be _happy_.

"Well, I go to class now. See ya later." She leaves still with her head down.

"Okay see ya!" I smiled but she doesn't around.

When the hall is empty I go to the science room... I don't want to but I can't come too late.

* * *

Sam's POV

"Samantha? What are you doing?" a stupid teacher asks. Doesn't he see that I'm thinking about something more important then Biology?

"Samantha Puckett?"

"Yes?"

"Could you answer my question?" he asks angry.

"No I can't." Why should I answer? He knows that I don't care about Biology so why does he ask me?

"Samantha!" It's going to be annoying.

"Don't call me Samantha. I don't like it!"

"And I don't like it when a student doesn't pay attention on Biology!"

"So what?"

"That's enough go outside! I'll talk to you after the lessons." I stand up and go outside. Everyone is looking at me... idiots.

* * *

Freddie's POV

Finally the school is over. I'm going over to Sam.

"Hey! Should we go to Carly? I have to give her the homework." Maybe Carly can make Sam feel better.

"Ok! Let's go." She said.

_**This was the second chapter!**_

_**In the next one there will be more of Carly and Jacob AND it will be longer I promise! **_

_**Hope you liked it! **_

_**A**__**nd don't forget -----**__** REVIEW xD **_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hey guys! **_

_**Again a big THANK YOU to you guys for your reviews... :)**_

_**I'm sorry that it lasts so long to upload this one but school... I had to do a lot of homework and I had to study. But now it's finally here! **_

_**CHAPTER 3 xD**_

_**I don't own anything! **_

Chapter 3

Freddie's POV

Sam and I walk along the street. There are only fifteen minutes left till we arrive at Carly's apartment. I tried to start a conversation but Sam just put her earphones on and turned the sound on. I want to talk we're not often alone together. I just hope that she'll tell me something. I don't know exactly what but I bet there's something. Suddenly she put her earphones down and looked up to me.

"Freddie..?" she asks.

"What's wrong?" Is she going to tell me something? Maybe I'll finally find out why she's so depressed.

"Well,..." she pauses.

"Well?" I smile maybe that will help her.

"Sorry...for overreacting." I'm surprised. To be honest this was the last thing I thought she was going to say. I thought she was going to tell me something more important.

"It's okay. You didn't hit that hard." I smile. She's breathing in.

"Good. I thought you were angry." She smiles. Does she really think I'm getting angry because she hits me? Perhaps I can go on with this conversation and she'll tell me something. I just try...

"Why shou..." It seems like Sam Puckett don't want to talk anymore. She put again her earphones on.

And then there is it again...silence. Okay maybe not today...At this moments I don't know that I'm wrong.

* * *

We arrive at the Bushwell Plaza. Lewbert is sitting in the lobby.

"AHH! The floor is mopped!" He screams.

Fast we go upstairs, Lewbert is annoying. And then we're at Carly's apartment.

"I'm going in my apartment. I have to put my backpack in my room, it doesn't last long." I say.

"Okay...then I'm going to Carly now." She turns around and goes in Carly's place.

* * *

Sam's POV

When I come in Carly is lying at the couch and watches TV.

"Hey Carly!" She looks up and smiles when she sees it's me.

"Hi Sam!" I go to the couch and hug her.

"Do you feel better?" I ask. Well, she doesn't look like she feels better but maybe.

"Not really. I'm still tired and have got fever and headache. The doctor were here, he said I shouldn't go to school for a week."

"Did he give you medicine or something?"

"Yes but this medicine nee..." Suddenly Freddie arrives.

"Hey! You look bad..."

"Uhm...Thanks?" She laughs.

"I-I didn't mean..." He stutters. Freddie is such a Nerd.

"I know that I look bad. Don't worry." Don't worry? Why is Carly always so nice?....She's just the opposite of me.

"Okay. Here is our homework" He put a folder on the table... a big folder.

"Oh no...This isn't true right?" Carly says staring at this stupid folder. I didn't know that good students have to do so much.

"Carly you have still a whole week to do this." I smile "Just do it when you feel better."

"You're right..." She yawns. "Sam, Freddie...?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for visiting but now I'd like to sleep..."

"Oh.." Freddie understands.

"Okay Carly then I'll visit you again tomorrow okay?" Please say okay Carly.

"Of course..." She smiles and I kiss her cheek.

"Bye!" Freddie and I say at the same time and then we leave.

* * *

"Carly is very ill." I say. "Do you think she'll feel better soon?"

"Of course, the doctor was there and said it so why shouldn't she feel better?"

"Nobody can..." Suddenly my mobile phone rings. I've got a text message...from Jacob.

"Just come in the park right now!

-Jacob"

What does he want?

"Sam? Is something wrong?" He asks.

"No it's just Jacob. We'll meet us in the park." I fake a smile he doesn't need to know that I don't want to meet him.

* * *

When I arrive at the park I see him...Jacob. He sees me too and goes over to me.

"Hey Sam!" His face is near mine and I can smell his breathe of alcohol.

"You're drunk..." I whisper.

"So what?" He says threatening. Now I'm afraid.

"N-Nothing..." I stutter just like Freddie.

"Then..." He put his hands around my waist and kisses me. It's disgusting.

"Jacob...please stop." But he doesn't. No he goes on, he touches my bottom.

"Jacob..." He touches my breast.

"JACOB STOP!" I yell. Then I push him away so he falls down.

But he stands up really fast. I don't know why I don't run away but I'm just standing there.

"Are you stupid?" He says and then he slaps me so that I tumble back.

"I'm sorry..."

"The next time we'll continue." My eyes widen. Then he leaves.

I don't know what to do so I go home. I'm trying not to cry.

* * *

I arrive at home and my mother is there.

"Mom I'm back!" I say not hoping that someone answers.

"Why are you here? Why are you not at Carly's?" She says angry...and drunk. No please not.

"She's ill and wanted to sleep."

Then my mother comes to me and slaps me in the face.

"Why?" Tears fall down my face.

"If you wouldn't be here your father would be still here." She yells. That's what she always says. I'm the child which ruined her whole life. I'm the reason why my dad leaved. He leaved because my mom was pregnant...with me and Melanie. But Melanie was lucky enough to be smart so that she went to this school.

She hits me in my stomach then I fall on the ground. She kicks me and hit me again and again. My nose is bleeding and my stomach hurts.

I don't know exactly how long she does it this way but then she leaves. And I'm lying on the ground.

And I don't know how but anyhow I stand up and leave to. I can't stay in this apartment. I can't.

I don't know exactly where I go I just walk along the street. And then suddenly I run into a person.

"I'm sorry." I am mumbling.

"Sam?" I know this voice. And then I look up...it's Freddie.

_**So maybe Freddie will finally find out... ;)**_

_**Let's see in the next chapter! **_

_**See ya! **_

_**And --------**____** REVIEW xD**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4!**__** Hope you guys like it :) **_

_**I don't own anything! (It would be very cool if I could own iCarly or Nathan Kress...) ;D**_

_**Whatever**__**... xD**_

Chapter 4

Freddie's POV

"Sam?" I'm staring at this blonde, bleeding and her stomach holding girl. Is this girl really Sam?

When she looks up I know it. It's Sam. Maybe she has a bleeding nose and a black eye but it's Sam.

"What happened? Why are you bleeding?" Nothing... she doesn't say a word she's just looking at me.

"Sam! What happened?" I grab her wrists.

"Sam? SAM!" And then she just sits down. I'm doing the same. Then she starts to cry. I hug her and she put her head on my chest and cries. I never saw her this way. Never saw her weak side. I hold her in my arms and she's just crying. What's wrong with her? Why is she so hurt? I feel like crying.

"Sam?" I whisper again after a while. She still doesn't say anything. But she looks up, tears fall down her red and blue cheek.

"Shall we go to my place?" She nods. I don't really know if her injuries really bad I just hope that they not. But one thing I know we can't stay here on the street.

"Can you walk?" When she tries to stand up she gives a wince of pain. But she stands up. And so we walk slowly through the streets. It isn't a long way but it lasts really long till we arrive at my place. I take her to the couch and give her a hot chocolate and ice so that she cans refrigerate her cheek and her black eye. Then I sit next to her. She leans against me and stops crying.

"Sam? Would you tell me what happened...please?" I say, putting my arm around her shoulder. ___________________________________________________________________________

Sam's POV

Isn't it kind of ironic that the person which rescued me is the one I'm always teasing on? I guess... And now he asks me what happened and put his arm around my shoulder and I let it happen... It sounds weird but it feels good and it comforts me.

"Sam? Please tell me. I can't help you if you don't talk to me." He says, his voice sounds really worried.

"It's none of your business." I don't know why I'm suddenly so mean.

"_What?_" He says staring at me like he doesn't get it.

"It's none of your business?" I don't know if I'm right but does his voice sounds a little bit hurt? He takes his arm from my shoulder.

"Okay, then it's none of my business." Then he stands up and before he goes in his room turns around.

"You can sleep at the couch and if you want something to eat just go in the kitchen." He points at a door. "Good night." And so he goes to his room with his head down.

"Sam you're so stupid! You make the only one angry who cared about you." I thought to myself. I really don't want that Freddie's angry but... he still doesn't need to know. I'm still thinking that I can handle these problems. Whatever... Now he hates me. And I can understand him. He picked me up from the streets and took me to his place and gave me hot chocolate, ignoring that I'm always so mean to him. And what am I doing? I say: "It's none of your business!" I'm such a bad person...

About things like these I keep thinking till my hot chocolate is cold and till I realize that I _have_ to apologize and till I realize that I have to tell him about my problems. I'm looking at the clock it's 11.30pm. Maybe he's already sleeping... But if I don't apologize and tell him everything I won't sleep tonight.

So I put away the blanket and sneak to his door. Without knocking I go in. Freddie's still awake, sitting in front of his laptop. When he notices that I'm in the room he looks up.

"Hey Freddie." I say not really loud.

"Uhm...Hi..." He answers.

"Fred..." He interrupts me.

"I told you already the kitchen is the next door okay?" I know I wasn't nice but he doesn't have to be...so.

"If I was looking for the kitchen I'd find it without your help." I say smiling.

"I know." He smirks.

"Freddie I'm sorry...again. But I also want to say thank you for rescuing me." He looks surprised but then he smiles.

"Okay I forgive you...again." Okay done but now the hardest part telling him about my mom and everything. I sit down on his bed and breathe in.

"Freddie? If I'll tell you what happened you promise you won't tell anyone right?" He turns around.

"I promise." Something in his eyes let me believing. And something in his voice makes me trust him. He sits next to me.

"Tell me." He says. And I know it doesn't fit but these two words let me remember when we were out on the balcony and I said the same as he didn't wanted to tell me about his idea... that we should kiss.

"Well, you want to know where are these injuries are from?" He nods.

"My mother..."

"Your own mother did this to you?" Now I'm the one who nods.

"Yes. She was drunk and..." Suddenly tears fall down my face.

"Sam..." I just let my head fall on his chest and he strokes my back with his warm hands it really comforts me. So I can go on.

"She was drunk, hit, slapped and kicked me," I say, still having my head on his chest.

"Is this the first time she does something like this to you?" He asks really worried.

"Well, she does it sometimes." I can't see his face but his heart is beating faster now.

"_Sometimes?" I nod. _

"But why didn't you tell me or Carly?" He says a little disappointed.

"I thought I can handle it..." I start to cry again.

"But what if your mother killed you would you still think you can handle it?" He runs his fingers through my curls.

"Then I had nothing to handle anymore..." I laughed but I'm still crying. This sounds really weird.

"Sam..." He shakes his head.

"Maybe it would be better... if I were dead, right?" I look right in his shocked face. He needs a few seconds to find his words.

"There are a lot of people which care about you and which need you. Just think about Carly, Spencer, me, the iCarly fans and also...Jacob." When he says the last name I jerk. Would Jacob care if I were dead?

"Sam? Now you have to promise me that you won't think about something like this again okay?"

"I promise." I say.

"And you promise me if you have any problems you'll come to me okay?"

"I promise." I say again. I'm sorry Freddie but I already reneged on this promise. I didn't tell you about Jacob...

I stand up. "Sam?" Freddie says worried.

"I just want to sleep okay?" I say smiling.

"Okay." He breathes out. He is really thinking that I kill myself right now...

Before I open the door and go on the couch, I turn around and kiss his cheek.

"Thank you." He blushes. A real Nerd...

_**Done! :) **_

_**But don't you think Nathan Kress is freaking hot? xD ...I'm sorry :)**_

_**Well, did you liked this chapter? Tell me! **_

_**--------**____** REVIEW xD**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey you saw the promo from the new iCarly movie? I wonder who Freddie will choose...maybe *cough* Sam *cough* xD Well, I hope this. **_

_**And again: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING **_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 5

Freddie's POV

I'm standing in the kitchen and make bacon and eggs for Sam she's still sleeping on the couch with her black eye. She can't go to school today. What would the other pupils thinking if Sam comes with a green and blue cheek and a black eye? They would ask too many questions...

I didn't sleep well this night, I thought about so many things. I still can't believe that her own mother does those things to her. And I also can't believe that she didn't tell anyone. I know she's Sam Puckett and so on but it's stupid to think that she can handle so bad problems. And then this suicide stuff. She doesn't know but I sneaked to the couch and hoped that she's still alive a thousand times. Another sleepless night because of Sam...

I put the plate on the table next to the couch hoping that I'm not too loud so that Sam won't wake up. Then I take my backpack and leave.

* * *

Sam's POV

I slowly open my eyes and yawn. First I don't know where I am till my cheek and my stomach hurt suddenly. Right...yesterday. Now I remember everything. All pictures come back to my mind my mother in my apartment, me on the street, Freddie a worried and surprise expression on his face and _Jacob_. I turn pale when I remember what he said before he left "The next time we'll continue."... This is bad. I know I'll meet him in the next days, we're in the same school and he's my boyfriend it would be weird if I wouldn't meet him. But what if we just go to somewhere where are a lot of people? He isn't stupid...

And then I look at the table next to me...bacon and eggs. This smells very good. Only now I realize that I'm really hungry. I didn't eat something since school yesterday. Right away I start to eat, it tastes great.

"Good work Fredward." I say knowing that nobody hears me.

After finish my breakfast I decide to take a shower. I go to the bathroom and when I take of my clothes I see blue bruises all over my body and I also see some scratches from the last attack from my mother with a empty beer bottle.

* * *

_I opened the door__ and my mom sat on the ground, a beer bottle in her hand. _

"_From where do you come so late?" She asked._

"_Mom it isn't late it's only 7.15pm." I said. I hated it always when she was drunk she lost the track of time._

"_And where is the pizza you had to buy?" Oh no I forgot the pizza. But iCarly and then Carly's ice cream…_

"_Sorry I'll go and buy a pizza right now." But I couldn't buy one my mom stands up hit the bottleneck against the wall and came to me._

"_Please don't...I won't do this again." I said knowing that these words wouldn't help._

"_You won't do this again..." She grabbed my hair, pushed me against the wall and scratched my skin. I screamed but she just went on and also hit me and kicked me...I wonder how I survived this attack._

* * *

Freddie's POV

I enter the lobby and the first thing I see is Lewbert.

"LEAVE!" No problem I don't stay longer then I need in this part of the building. I go upstairs and before I go to my own apartment I go to Carly's. The door isn't locked so I just come in.

"Hi Carly and Spencer!" I say waving.

"Hey!" They say at the same time. I sit down on the armchair.

"So it sounds like you feel better." Carly nods, she still looks ill but not so bad like yesterday.

"I feel better just trough this medicine." She smiles.

"And more homework you've have for me?" She points at the folder under my arm.

"Yes of course... I mean don't you know our teachers?" I say laughing. Especially our science teacher he gave us a _lot_ of homework.

"Yeah I know him..." She says not so happy.

"Well, I have to go now...you also know my mom." I really want to go home...I wonder how Sam feels.

"Okay then... bye!"

"Bye!" And then I leave.

* * *

"Hey Freddie!" A familiar voice says. I'm not sure but it smells like...spaghetti. I put my backpack in the corner and go in the kitchen.

"Hey!" Sam is standing in front of our cooker and churn with a wooden spoon in a pot. "What are you doing?"

"Well, you made breakfast for me and so I make lunch for us." She smiles her cute and nice smile.

"Wow, I didn't know that you can cook." Really I know she likes food but that she can cook...

"I was just lucky to find spaghetti and some things for the sauce because this is the only dish I can." And then she smiles again.

"I'm also lucky 'because if you couldn't make spaghetti I had to be hungry." I laugh. I don't tell her that I already had lunch at school...

"Whatever...just sit down. We can eat soon." I do as she told me and sit down.

After few minutes actually a plate with spaghetti in front of me. And it actually taste good...really good.

Sam is sitting there and read the newspaper... well she's staring at it so I guess she's reading it. Suddenly she looks up.

"Freddie?" She asks excited.

"Yes?"

"Look!" She points at the newspaper. I can't see something that would make me so excited.

"What?" I ask.

"What? Look today there's an amusement park!"

"And?" That makes her angry...Please not.

"_And _we could go there." What did she just say? _We _could go there? Only Sam and me could go there?

"We? You and me go to the amusement park?" She nods.

"That would be so awesome! And besides you home isn't that exciting all funny channels are locked and you don't even have scissors at home. Nothing to you but it's boring here." She's right.

"Okay...Then we go there." She just stays here for one night and then she makes lunch and wants to go with me to an amusement park. "Mom? Thanks that you're on a trip for a whole week!" I think to myself.

That's going to be interesting...

* * *

_**Chapter 5 done!**_

_**I have to say it didn't turn out so well and that annoys me! I'm really sorry -.-***_

_**Hope the next chapter will be better...**_

_**So see you guys! V(^,^). **_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hey guy's it's been a while! Sorry... But now I here's finally chapter 6! **_

_**So just enjoy it xD **_

_**It frustrates me always telling that I don't own iCarly**__**... ;D**_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 6

Sam's POV

So I stand in front of the mirror and try to cover this black eye and my blue cheek with make up. I just take some from Freddie's mom. I didn't even know that his mother has something like make up...isn't it too dangerous? I smirk and then I go on with covering this black eye. I can't go with this to an amusement park. After I finished this problem I comb my hair, brush my teeth with a toothbrush Freddie gave to me and then I go to the kitchen where Freddie's waiting for me.

"You finally ready?" He says smirking.

"Yes I am we can leave now." I smile and fetch my jacket. Freddie does the same and we leave.

When we go upstairs Lewbert is in the lobby and screams. "LEAVE!"

"That's what we're doing!" Freddie says. And then we go out of the lobby.

"Isn't he our beloved Lewbert?" I laugh.

"He is." He also laughs.

Then we walk along the streets and we're lost in our thoughts. I don't know what Freddie's thinking about but he smiles all the time and then he looks serious and then he smiles again...sometimes he's really weird. I just think about everything. Why I'm here right now? Well there are two reasons why I'm here the first one is diversion. I don't want to think about my mom or Jacob... I did this the whole night. And the second reason is Freddie. He's so obsessed with the thought that I go and kill myself. Last night he sneaked to the couch a hundred times. So if we just spend this day together and have fun he maybe will forget about this.

"Uhm Freddie? Do you know where we go?" I look kind of scared up to him.

"Of course I know where we go. I wouldn't go there without knowing the way!" Of course he's Freddie Benson.

"I thought so..." I smile and then we don't say anything.

After a while we arrive at a big place. There are a lot of people with cotton candy, ice cream and other stuff. And I can also hear music. Freddie gives me a short look.

"Let's go..." He says doubtful.

"Let's go!" I say. And so we go right in the crowd.

* * *

"Do you think I can do this?" I ask Freddie. We're standing at a booth where you have to shoot something to get a nice stuff animal or something like that. And I want this big stuff bear. I'm almost obsessed... But Freddie just gave me enough money for five shoots. For the bear I need...five.

He looks me right in the eyes and smiles. "I think you can." I nod.

Okay the first try. Concentrate...Shoot the balloon Puckett. And..._Done!_

"Mama can handle this..." I whisper.

"What?" Freddie asks.

"Shhh!" The next one... again concentrate...Done!

"Yay!"

It also works with the third and the fourth one. And now just one hit and then is the bear mine. Go on Sam. The stuff bear! And..._failed._

"Noooo!" I scream. "The last one? C'mon you're kidding!" I don't even know to who I'm talking.

"You can't have the big stuff bear but a smaller one okay?" The salesman says.

"No I don't want this little one... Bye!" And I leave Freddork behind me. I'm really disappointed. The last shoot failed. I hate myself right now. So close!

"Sam wait!" A person behind me yells. I stop and turn around.

"You don't have to run okay?" Fredward says going over to me.

"C'mon I'm not running...I walk fast." I answer. I thought it could be funny to be here but now I just hate it.

"Where do you go?"

"You don't need to care okay?" I say angrily. Oh no! I overreact again... Just because of a stupid stuff bear!?

"Sam" He grabs my arm. "Please stay here... I will get something to eat or to drink. Okay?" His look is really serious and worried. And for some reason I nod automatically.

He breathes out. "Okay. I'll be right back, just wait there on this bench." I nod again and then he runs away to get some food...for me the bitchy and moody Puckett. I freak out because of this stuff bear! I breathe in and then I breathe out. Calm down Sam... I know it's not only the stuff bear. I know this it's just like when we were in school yesterday. "Overreacting..." Slowly comes from my lips.

Suddenly someone taps me on the shoulder I turn around and... _The stuff bear looks me right in the face_. I scream. And then a face appears behind the bear. It's Freddie a big grin on his face.

"Hey you don't need to scream." He laughs. "It's just a stuff bear."

"You won the stuff bear?" I say. He nods excitedly. "To be honest I didn't want to get food. I just run to this booth and won it." He smiles and gives me the stuff bear. He really thought this is because of this big thing? And he just won this stuff bear for me? I never thought I'd think this but this is the cutest thing Freddie Benson _ever_ did.

"I thought you want him really bad..." He stares at me waiting for a reaction. And then I just hug him so that he almost overbalances.

"Thank you so much!" I say happy. This is the nicest thing someone ever did to me then I let go.

"You're welcome..." He says really confused but smiling.

* * *

Freddie's POV

Suddenly I hear someone giggling behind us. I turn around and see Wendy with some other girls I don't know. Sam also sees them.

"Hey Wendy!" I say after a few seconds.

"Hey Freddie _and_ Sam!" Wendy says still giggling.

"What's so funny?" Sam asks but now Wendy just tries not to laugh too hard. "Nothing..." She giggles.

"C'mon! You don't laugh without a reason." Sam tells Wendy and her voice says: "You make me sick! If you're trying to kidding me I'm not sure what I'm going to do..."

"I'm sorry Sam you don't have to get angry." It seems like she also sees that Sam is angry. "We'll leave now and let you two alone." And then she giggles again. "Bye guys!"

"Bye!" I say looking doubtful at Sam. After these girls left Sam turns around.

"Why are they so weird? They come here and laugh stupid and leave then. I don't understand girls at all..." She shakes her head.

"Uhm... You _are_ a girl."

"But I'm not such a girl." She points at the point right were these girls stood.

"Whatever... Just don't care about them." She doesn't need to waste her time with thinking about laughing girls.

"You're right... At least I still got my little stuff bear." She smiles at me and I smile back. I'm still not sure if she really stops thinking about Wendy but she smiled.

"Hey! You know what? Why don't we get some..." Suddenly Jacob stands right behind her.

"Freddie what's wrong?" I don't answer.

"Hey Jacob!" I say knowing that I can't spend time with Sam anymore.

Sam turns around and just looks so surprised like I did few seconds ago.

"Hey Jacob!" She says.

"Hey babe!" He just says and then...he kisses her. This isn't the first time I see them kissing but... I can't tell how it hurts. It's just like somebody holds my heart in his hands and put a knife in it. I'm happy when they finish.

"So what are you doing here?" Jacob asks.

"Well, we just went here for fun." She says. He looks at me and I just nod and smile.

"And what are you doing here?" Sam asks.

"To be honest I wanted to call when I arrive here so we can spend time together... I thought we could spend some time here and then go to my apartment and watch some movies." But now I'm here so you can't.

"Oh." Is all Sam has to say?

"You know what? Why don't you just come over to me and we can still watch some movies?" No say no Sam please.

"O-Okay. That sounds great." I don't know how but I fake a smile. And try not to cry.

"Well then let's go!" Jacob says and put his arm around her shoulder.

Sam turns around. "Bye Freddork!" And then they leave... Sam's still got the bear under her arm. And I stand just here. I knew she has got a boyfriend but I also thought we could spend a few hours together...you're right Sam I'm Freddork.

* * *

Sam's POV

"I'm sorry Freddie..." I think to myself when I walk along the street...with Jacob. He takes me to his place to 'watch some movies'. I know what he really wants and I'm really scared.

"So why do you were there with _Freddie_?" He suddenly says.

"Well, we just wanted..."

"You just wanted what?" He interrupts me.

"We just w-wanted...." I stutter. I just wanted to forget about you, my mom and have some fun. That I'd say if I knew he wouldn't kill me.

"You just wanted to go on a date with him behind my back!" If this told me another person I'd laugh out loud but I don't feel like laughing...

"N-No I didn't want to. Freddie and I are just friends..._really._" This is true we're just friends. I never thought I have to affirm that I'm not in love with Freddie Benson.

"And is this stuff bear also from your _friend_?" Suddenly a light goes on. This is the reason why Wendy and these other girls were giggling so stupid. They thought I've got a date with Freddie. Okay, maybe if Freddie were a normal guy I could understand it I mean the amusement park and the bear... big hints. But like I said if he weren't Freddie Benson I would think the same way.

"Believe me, this wasn't a date." A building appears in front of me and I know it's the building where Jacob lives.

He doesn't answer what scars me a lot. Why doesn't he say something? Well, now I have to think about what happens next. Maybe he'll be tenderly. Maybe he won't be rough... Yeah he slapped me in the face he'll be tenderly.

We arrive at the building. We go upstairs and every step scares me more. And then we're at his apartment. He opens the door and then we go in. And then he closes the door.

"I hope you know that you're _mine_..." These are the words he says before he grab my arms and go with me to the couch.

"Please stop..." The last words I here before he takes off my shirt and start to kiss my neck.

I just cry while he opens my jeans. And then he goes on. I scream and try to hit him but he's too strong for me. He puts his hand on my mouth so I can't say or scream anymore.

After a while I don't hit anymore. I give up, close my eyes and let it happen. I always dreamed of my first time with the one I love... I'll still dream about it but it'll be a nightmare...

* * *

_**Don't you fell sorry for Sam? **_

_**I hope you liked this one more then the last one! **_

_**And tell me what you think--------Review! :D **_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Its weekend and I have a lot of time so I just write the next chapter :) **_

_**And also I want to finish this chapter fast, because I can't wait to write the next chapter or the chapter after the next chapter or maybe the chapter after the chapter after the next chapter... I'm still not sure xD But this is soo mean to tell you this right? Of course now you want to find out what is so great I want to write about. Really mean xD But until this mysterious chapter just read this one! ;D **_

_**I don't own iCarly get it? :P **_

_

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Chapter 7

Sam's POV

I'm almost at home still not believing what happened an hour ago.

* * *

_After he finished he just looked at me with a disgusting smile__... He took on his clothes while I still was on the couch naked, shocked and crying. I couldn't move... I don't know why. _

_And then he said "See you Monday at school."__ After these words he just left. "See you Monday at school" is everything he said after... _

_Then somehow I took on my clothes and also left. I knew I couldn't go to Carly or Freddie so I decided to go home._

* * *

I take the elevator and then I go in my apartment hoping that my mom isn't here. But she's here. Maybe I'm lucky and she'll leave me alone.

"Where do you were last night?" She yells from the kitchen. Why should I be lucky?

"I'm sorry mom. I was at a friend's apartment." I'm not sure if she can hear me because I whisper not strong enough to speak loud.

"And at which friend's apartment you were _exactly_?" She sounds like she's drunk...again.

"I was at Carly's." A lie... but I can't tell her the truth.

"I thought she's ill. Did you lie to me?" She comes over to me.

"No...I just wan..." And then she slaps, hits and kicks me. Just like yesterday.

"Please...don't" I say crying before she kicks me again. Suddenly her phone rings and she let go.

"Of course... I'll be there in a few minutes." She says going to the door and leaving. Maybe it's her new boyfriend. But whoever this person is this person saved me. "Thank you..." I whisper through my tears.

Then I go to the bathroom and take a shower. I want clean every place where he kissed me and touched me. I don't want anything from him on my body... After a while I just sit down I can't stand anymore. I put my arms around my knees and cry... just cry.

After this I don't know how long I'm sitting there this way I take a towel, dry oneself off and take on some clothes. Then I look in the mirror. I look horrible. My make up isn't on my face anymore and you can see the black eye and my green and blue cheek and my eyes are red from crying. And so I open the drawer and hold a razor in my hands.

I go in my room and sit down on my bed. Then I take the razor and slowly cut my wrist. It bleeds but I don't care. I just go on...

"This is for you my beloved Jacob." I think when I make another cut. It's bleeding... "And this is for you mom." Another scar... The blood drops on my blanket now. I don't cry when I cut my wrist it doesn't hurt so bad like other people hurts me....

And then the scar almost cuts my artery. After this I think it would be the best if I just die. Just disappear its easy...just make the cut. But then I see the stuff bear smiling at me. Ah now I remember I took the stuff bear with me when I left Jacobs apartment. And so I also remember the promise... I promised Freddie I'd never think about suicide again. I also promised that if I have any problems he'll be the first one I'll talk to you. But I won't tell him anything about Jacob and what he did to or _with_ me. But I decide to put the razor away...

So I go again in the bathroom and bandage up my wrist. It's not the first time I do this so it doesn't last long. And then I go in my room. I lay down on my bed. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep. But every time I close my eyes hisface appears right in front of me. His disgusting smile and then I open my eyes. Why can't I just sleep? Why can't I have a nice life? Why can't I have a nice mother which is always there for me and hugs me and _loves_ me? Why can't I have a tenderly boyfriend who protects? Why can't... And then I start to cry again the tears just fall down. It isn't a low crying I sob loud so that my pillow is all wet. And then after a while I fall asleep. It isn't a surprise but I have a nightmare.

* * *

Freddie's POV

I'm sitting on my bed, run my finger through my hair and realize that I'm a total dork. I was happy about her idea, I was happy about her smile when she saw the stuff bear and I was so happy when she hugged me. But I was sad when she kissed him, I was sad when she let him put his arm around her shoulder and I was sad when she left and let me standing at this bench...alone.

And at this moment I realize two things. The first one Sam Puckett will never love me. She'll never think of me as more then a friend. I'm supposed to be her frenemie. And so problem appears with the second thing I realize.

The second thing I realize is that I'll always love Sam Puckett. No matter what she does or did to me. Maybe I'm her punching bag and maybe she hates me but I can't stop loving her. I can't stop to love her evil laugh when she gives Gibby a wedgie, I can't stop to love her way to freak out if she watches fights in TV, I can't stop loving her weird expression on her face in math and I can't stop to love it when she smiles at me. _Yeah, I can't stop to love my blonde-headed demon_.

And with this cognition I fall asleep.

* * *

-The next day-

Sam's POV

I wake up because my cell phone is ringing. I slowly open my eyes and yawn. And then I look at it... a text message from Carly.

"Sam why weren't you here yesterday? You told me you'll visit me...

-Carly"

Right I totally forget about visiting Carly.

"I'm so sorry! But can I come over right now?

-Sam"

"That would be great! You know it's kind of boring here."

And so I put away my blanket and go in the bathroom. I brush my teeth and take on my clothes then I comb my hair and leave.

* * *

"Hey guys!" I said when I walk through the door to Carly's apartment.

"Hey Sam!" Carly says sitting on the couch and when she looks at me she just stares shocked at me.

"What happened to your eye and your cheek?" Oh no I forgot my eye. Of course I can't tell Carly the truth but I've got always a bad feeling when I lie to her.

"Well, I-I..." Suddenly Freddie comes in. When he sees me he just stares at me for two or three seconds but then he turns to Carly.

"Hey girls! What's up?" Yes change the subject.

"I just asked Sam where this black eye and the blue cheek come from." She says. I look at Freddie with a glance which should tell him "Help me I don't know what to answer."

"Don't worry Carly. You know? Sam and I went together to an amusement park and there were some girls they were really mean... And so Sam and these girls started to fight." This is possible... I start a fight totally me. But this whole amusement park thing... I remember what Jacob told me. "_You just wanted to go on a date with him behind my back." _

And when I remember his words the other things come also back to my mind. I don't want to think about it again. Not today...last night I did a lot. And so I carefully touch my wrist with the bandage around..._a lot_.

Carly sees that I touch my wrist and her eyes widen.

"Is this also from the fight?" Now Freddie also looks at my wrist. His eyes also widen but before he can say anything I nod.

"Yes I fell down on the pavement and had a lot of scars and so on that's why I bandaged it. You don't need to worry." And there's the feeling I've waited for. I just feel sick but I have to lie to her.

"Okay. But wait...you and Freddie went to an amusement park _together_... without killing each other?" She looked at us hopeful.

I nod again kind of annoyed of this whole thing. Carly looks at Freddie and he mumbles "Yes we did." Is he also annoyed of this or is it another thing that's bugging him?

"This is awesome! You can also act like two normal friends they do _not_ fight all the time." She seems to be really happy about this. Again we both nod. And then she shakes her head and laughs.

"Unbelievable... I mean I know you guys are friends but you always fight and argue so it's nice to see that you can actually act like friends."

"So another thing Sam..." She looks at me. "Are you going to see Jacob this weekend?"

"I already met him yesterday." Carly looks confused now.

"I thought you went with Freddie to the amusement park..."

"Yes and there we met Jacob and then he took me to his place and we...w-watched some movies." I lie again.

"This is so cute. You have such a great boyfriend!" Yeah the best boyfriend ever Carly...

"Yes he's really great." Another lie... And I still got this bad feeling.

"You know you're really lucky?" She smiles at me. First I breathe in before I speak.

"I'm really lucky." I lie again and fake a smile. But now I can't take this bad feeling after lying to Carly anymore.

"Carly I'm really sorry but I have to go now." I turn to the door and before I open the door I say "Don't be angry..."

"Why should I be angry because my best friend leaves without a reason or saying goodbye?" I just hear her yell. And then I lean against the wall right next to Freddie's door.

"Calm down Sam..." I say when I breathe out. And after these words Freddie comes from Carly's and looks at me really worried and a little bit angry.

"Sam, tell me the truth what really happened to your wrist?" He doesn't sound angry just worried.

"I fell down yesterday..." Lying, lying I hate myself.

"Maybe Carly believes that but I don't." Then he comes closer to me and careful grab my arm. I can't stop him he slowly takes off the bandage and when he sees the scars his eyes widen.

"Why did you do this?" He whispers after a few seconds. "Is it because of your mother?" Now he looks me straight in the eyes. "I can't help you when you don't tell me anything..."

Suddenly my phone rings... a text message from Jacob.

"Babe yesterday I didn't believe you with this whole dating thing so just don't spend too much time with Freddie or we could watch some movies again...

-Jacob"

My eyes widen I read this text message twice but there are still the same words. Stay away from Freddie the only person who knows about everything and the only person who wants to help me? I have to or he'll do this again. And of course I don't want this again...

Freddie stays still the same way in front of me still looking me in the eyes.

"Sam again I can't help you when you don't tell me what's wrong..." He repeats.

I look him in the eyes too. And say "I never asked you for help..." I'm shocked about my voice. I sound so heartless.

"Sam... We talked about this the day before yesterday." He's still calm.

"Benson, I don't _need_ any help from a dork like you get it?" Now my face doesn't show any feeling and my voice is colder then before.

Two seconds longer he looks me really hurt in my eyes but I withstand his glance and so he let go of my arm. He turns his face away.

"Are you sure?" I can hear that he isn't calm anymore just hurt. I'm so sorry Freddie.

"If I'm sure that I don't need a nerd who protects me?" I keep looking at him still having the mask on my face. And then he leaves. The person who could help me leaves because I'm mean... no at this time I'm just rude and cruel...

When he leaves I fall to the ground and keep saying through my tears "I'm so sorry Freddie."

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_**Just one thing... I'm not emo. :) **_

_**And tell me what you think you know review xD **_


	8. Chapter 8

**It's me again! :) **

**I don't really know what I should write about so just read chapter 8! :D **

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. **

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Chapter 8

Freddie's POV

"_I never asked for your help..." She looked me in the eyes. I was confused but I didn't show it._

"_Sam... We talked about this the day before yesterday." I really thought it's the same like the day before yesterday..._

"_Benson, I don't need any help from a dork like you get it?" She called me a lot of times Benson, dork, Fredward and a thousand other names but when I heard it this time it really hurt. I still looked her in her eyes but I couldn't see anything in her cold and blue eyes so I let go and turn around._

"_Are you sure?" I tried to sound calm but it didn't work. Why did she say this? _

"_If I'm sure that I don't need a nerd who protects me?" That was enough... I love her and I know she was often really mean and everything but I always knew that we're frenemies and that she didn't hate me. But now it really sounded like she didn't want me and my help anymore. So I walked away... not upset or angry just hurt and confused. _

* * *

This happened four days ago and four days I didn't talk to her. I know I have to be upset but I miss her. Four days... On Monday she didn't even greet just looked at me and walked away when I wanted to talk to her.

The last for days were boring and I had nothing to do. I visited Carly sometimes but she didn't feel so well and always wanted to sleep so I just was there for an hour. I don't know...

I just know that this whole situation kills me. All I want to know is how she's doing. Does her mother hurt her or does she hurt herself again? The picture from her wrist with these cuts comes back to my mind. I'm still shocked that she does those things to herself. I know she got these problems but... I never thought that she would do stuff like that.

I go to my locker and put some stuff in it. I've got a free period now and so are just some students on the floor. I wonder where Jacob he also has a free period is but I can't see him. Whatever...

I decide to go to the computer lab and look on the iCarly website. I bet there are a lot of fans they've got questions. Last week we didn't iCarly and so I just wrote on the website that Carly doesn't feel so well but that we hope that we'll do it next week. Of course every fan asks how Carly is doing and that I should tell her that she hopefully feels better soon. Yeah and so Carly told me "Please we have to write everyone back or it's mean." And so I have to answer about two hundred thousand people.

I go upstairs staring at my feet. I only look up when somebody says "Hi Freddie!" I don't really know this person just say "Hey!" back and go on. And then I arrive at the third floor where the computer lab.

Suddenly I see Jacob kissing a girl which isn't Sam... I stop. I look at these kissing guys again to be sure that I'm right and yeah I'm right. Jacob is kissing a brunette girl and I definitely know that Sam is blonde. I can't describe the angriness that grows up in me. I can't describe how much I want to kill him right now...

"Jacob what are you doing?" I ask angry. He looks up and waves.

"Hey Freddie! What's up?" I catch him when he cheats on Sam and he says "Hey Freddie! What's up?"!? He shouldn't do this...

"What are you doing?" I ask angrier now but he's still calm.

"Uhm... I kiss this girl. I thought you were old enough." He laughs while I'm foaming with rage.

"Are you kidding me?" I talk louder now almost yell. This guy tells me that he's kissing another girl while he dates Sam and he doesn't even hide it.

"Freddie what do you want to tell me? That it isn't right to kiss another girl while you've got a boyfriend? C'mon Freddie... I need change and she's a welcome change." He pulls her closer to him and grins.

That's enough! I can't calm down. I grab his collar and push him against the locker the girl that stood next to him jumped to the side. But he's still grinning.

"Are you angry?" Instead of answering I punch him in his arrogant face.

"Oh Freddie what do you think are you doing?" He smirks and then he punches me in my stomach so that I grimace.

"Do you think you can change anything?" He kicks me but I fight back and also punch him in his stomach he winces but that's everything.

"Freddie can you imagine how I enjoy it to have two girls?" He wants to provoke and it's working. I punch him in his face again harder then before.

"Can you imagine how I enjoyed Sam?" I froze and my eyes widen when he whispers these words but he just laughs and give me another punch.

"It was wonderful..." He looks me in my eyes knowing that he strikes a nerve. I just stand there can't move.

"There was just one annoying thing..." He pauses a moment before he says the words the shock me.

"This whole screaming, kicking and crying... This girl doesn't play hard to get." He giggles.

And suddenly I can't control my self anymore. I just run to him and kick and punch...imagine what he did to Sam, imagine how she tried to bridle but couldn't because she wasn't strong enough. I'm blind in rage and just want one thing...I want to kill him.

And so I don't notice my bleeding nose, my eye that becomes blue or my hurting stomach. I ignore everything. I will make him pay for what he has done to Sam and for cheating on her for everything he will pay!

I pummel him until he falls to the ground I'm not sure if he's unconscious but I don't care I'm not going to stop he also didn't stop to rape Sam. But before I can punch him again I hear somebody yell.

"Freddie stop!" It's Principal Franklin making a way through the students they're around us they aren't much just these students they also got a free period. For fury I didn't notice how they were around us and watched the fight.

"Freddie go away from him!" Now he stands next to me. "Somebody call the ambulance!" The girl that kissed him before whips her cell phone from her pocket and calls the ambulance. And then Mr. Franklin looks at me.

"You'll wait in my office while I sort out everything." I decide to do what he told me but before I go to his office I whisper to the unconscious Jacob "Do you still need change?"

* * *

Principal Franklin comes in he looks stressed. Then he sits down and looks serious at me before he starts talking.

"Why did you do this?" He looks at me... a confused and angry gaze.

"I was in the mood for this..." I look to the ground.

"Freddie! You don't punch, hit and kicked him because you were in the mood for this!" He yells angry.

"But I did..." I don't really want to act like that. I like Principal Franklin but I also can't tell him the truth.

"He's unconscious and he had to go to the hospital!" He says urgently but I just shrug my shoulders.

"Fred..." He sounds like he's out of his depth. Then he breathes in and starts again.

"Freddie I'll call your mother and I hope you know that you'll get punishment... and it won't be a mild penalty. But now you should go home and calm down." He sounds calm and I'm happy that I can get out of here.

Straightaway I stand up but before I open the door Principal Franklin gives me another serious look.

"Freddie? You also know that you can tell me if you've got any problems." I nod and then just leave.

I run to the main entrance. Some pupil are looking at me and say stuff like "psychopath" or "Yeah get out of here aggressive moron!" Oh I'm a psychopath? Jacob rapes his girlfriend and cheats on her and then he makes fun of it and said he 'enjoyed' it but I'm a psychopath?

And when I think about it I get angry again. I'm happy when the school is finally behind me and I walk along the street well, I almost run. I'm just beside myself with anger. And hope that I can control me and don't attack a pedestrian. Then the Bushwell Plaza appears in front of me.

I go in the lobby and before Lewbert can scream I take the elevator. And then I arrive at my apartment I open the door and see my mother standing in front of me. Right today she's back from her trip I forgot. She doesn't look happy.

"Fredward Benson! I can't believe it." She looks me straight in my eyes.

"Then don't believe it..." Again I act like a defiant teenager.

"I come home and before I can pack out the phone rings and Principal Franklin tells me that my son drubs somebody until he was unconscious. What was the reason? Huh?" She's really upset and disappointed in me.

"Whatever..." I try to go in my room but she stops me.

"Just look at you Freddie! Your black eye and your bleeding nose what did you thought?" Now she's crying. And I feel sorry for her but she also wouldn't understand.

"Do you really don't care or what is it? I'm your mother you can tell me everything." She says through her tears.

"Just leave me alone!" I say and then I go into my room and this time she doesn't stop me.

I lock the door. And throw my backpack in the corner. And then I kick at my wardrobe, chuck my books on the ground and batter my mirror. My mom hears the noise and knocks on the door but I don't care. I just destroy almost everything in my room and knock over my chair.

In the moments I hate two persons on the world. The first person is Jacob. I hate him for that what he has done to Sam. And the other person is... me.

Me. I hate me because I wasn't able to protect Sam. I couldn't see what was her real problem not only her mother also Jacob but I was blind. And I hate me because I wasn't there for her while she needed me...

Now this whole "I never asked for your help..." seems so unimportant to me. Why didn't I just ignore this whole fight? Why I just saw me and my stupid love to her? I just always thought about this and then couldn't help her.

I get on my knees now and put my head in my hands. And then I start to cry like a little child. "I'm sorry Sam..." I keep saying.

Everything around me is destroyed the mirror, my wardrobe, my chair lies on the ground and I'm dashed to the ground. Now I also feel the pain every part of my body hurts.

"I'm so sorry Sam..."

* * *

Suddenly somebody knocks on the door. I look at the clock its 3pm... Since four hours I'm sitting on the ground still crying.

"Freddie?" It's Carly. I don't answer.

"Freddie! I know you're in there please open the door. Your mom sent me to you... she's really worried about you just like me. Freddie open please." I still don't say anything.

"Freddie..._please open the door_." She's almost crying I can hear this so I slowly go to the door and open it. Her eyes widen when she sees me and my room and whispers "Oh my god." But then after a moment she contains herself.

"What happened?" She asks her voice sounds calm but I know inside she's confused.

"I and Jacob had a fight..." I say honest.

"Why?" I know she's really worried.

"I saw him and another girl...kissing." Her eyes widen and when this picture comes back to my mind I feel how I get angry again.

"What? He kissed another girl?" I nod.

"And you started a fight when you saw this?" Again I nod.

"But Carly you didn't saw this stupid asshole laughing when he said 'I need change...' I know it wasn't right to start a fight and I know I should have stop and not pummel him until he's unconscious...But I couldn't stop." Now Carly's eyes widen again. No I shouldn't have told her about this unconscious thing. I'm such an idiot.

"You pummeled him until he was unconscious? I know it wasn't right from him and that he's a moron and a stupid asshole but you can't just punch him until he's unconscious!" She says upset. Right she doesn't know about the other thing...that he raped Sam.

"He had it coming to him..." I just say it's also the truth. She shakes her head.

"Freddie! This wasn't right...I hope you know that." It wasn't right but it was fair and I can't understand her. She just aligns herself with Jacob. And this makes me angry I knew she wouldn't understand. I shouldn't have opened the door.

"Yeah it wasn't right... Whatever! I don't care! It's his own fault if he kisses another bitch!" I yell at her and she looks scared.

"Freddie..." She says shocked.

"I never saw you this way..." She stars at me.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't want to yell at you it's just this guy makes me sick!" Suddenly she looks up at me.

"It's okay Freddie..." And then we're just quiet. It's kind of weird that we're both sitting in my destroyed room.

And then you can hear me say through the silence...

"Carly... I love Sam."

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_**I wanted to say that your nice reviews always make me happy! **_

_**So...THANK YOU! **_

_**I love you x3 **_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hey guys!  
**__**Thanks again for your reviews! :) When I saw them I just had to write the next chapter so here you go! **_

_**~Enjoy~**_

_**I don't own ANYTHING! c(x **_

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Chapter 9

Carly says nothing just stares at me. Then she opens her mouth but then she closes it. But her look says everything she's surprised, confused and shocked. This silence...

Why did I tell her? I just said it without thinking about it. But suddenly she starts to talk.

"Really? You're in love with Sam?" She asks and I nod.

"But... I thought...you are...I..." Wow she _is_ confused I really shocked her. "I...always thought you're in love with me."

"I _was_ in love with you but then I'm still not sure...I just fell in love with Sam."

"Since when do you love her?" She asks.

"Well, I don't now exactly but I guess it was in spring."

"But why didn't you tell me or _her_?" Another question...

"Well, I wanted to but...then she started dating Jacob and so I hadn't the chance." I look down remembering the day when I was going to tell her. Her happy face when she said that he likes her too. And now this idiot doesn't make her happy anymore he cheats on her and...

I run my fingers through my hair try to holding back my tears they want to come out again. Carly looks at me a serious look on her face.

"Are you alright?" I like Carly she's my best friend but this is a stupid question.

"I guess, it's just that this boy who's the reason that I never had the chance to tell Sam what I feel and that she'll never love me and then he just cheats on her and..." I almost told Carly that Jacob raped Sam. Its stupid don't telling anyone about this but before I talk to someone else about it I want to talk to Sam... And also I want to talk to her because of this fight...I'm scared how she would react and...

"Freddie...?" I just ignore it and continue talking.

"And then he had this disgusting smile on his face and told me that he needs change." It's like his face is right in front of me. "I just _couldn't_ stop I just wanted that he regrets what he has done. I just wanted that..." It's like I'm alone in the room I don't see or hear Carly until she grabs my shoulders and yells at me.

"Freddie!" Now I look up she has tears in her eyes.

"W-Why do you cry?" I ask surprised and shocked.

"I-I just feel sorry for you..." I giver her a slight smile. This is our typical Carly, cries because a friend is hurt.

"You don't need to cry... I'm the one who should cry." The last part I mumble so she doesn't understand.

"You're right..." She wipes her tears away and then looks around.

"You're room looks...destroyed. You need some help?" Wow I can't believe that she changes the subject so fast. But its okay its better if she doesn't bomb me with questions.

I nod. "You'd do that?"

"Of course I'd do that you can't do this on your own...look." She pointed at the shattered mirror.

"You're a really good friend Carly." I say honest.

"I know." She smiles but then looks down. And then she starts to pick up the fragments while I pick up the books I threw down.

When we finish picking up this stuff we go on while Carly says "You were really angry..."

Suddenly I hear Spencer scream.

"Fire!" Straightaway Carly runs to her apartment I follow her.

When we arrive we see that it burns inside of the oven while Spencer tries to blows out the fire.

"What happened?" Carly asks.

"I was watching TV there was a nice show and so I forgot about my pie..." That can only happen to Spencer.

When it finally stops to burn and there is only a lot of smoke I decide to go back to my apartment.

"Carly? I go home now." She turns around.

"Okay if you want to..." Carly just says.

"Thank you so much for helping me with my room. Bye!" And then I leave.

* * *

I enter my apartment and then I sit down on the couch. I try to watch TV but I always think about Sam.

What if she's really mad at me and doesn't want to talk to me anymore? I mean the last days almost killed me but if we don't talk anymore...I can't live without Sam I need her.

Suddenly I hear someone knocking at the door. I stand up and open the door. Don't know but I think I look really shocked right now because the one who stands in front of me is Sam a angry expression on her face.

"Sam..." I say. But instead of answering she just goes in and run into my room. Of course I follow her and when we're there she looks at me really upset. I don't want that she's mad at me. Please don't Sam.

"What were you thinking Freddie?" I knew it she's mad at me so I keep quiet.

"You just beat him up without any reason! Since when turned you into an aggressive person huh?" Now I'm getting angry.

"What? I beat him up without a reason?" But she ignores it and goes on.

"I came from the boring math class and then suddenly Wendy went over to me and told me that you just pummeled Jacob until he was unconscious and he had to go to the hospital. And she also called you a psychopath... What were you thinking beating up my boyfriend?" I can't believe that she's defending him after everything he did to her.

"What I was thinking?" She looks at me.

"Yeah could you please tell me why you did this to my boyfriend?" She yells.

"You still call him boyfriend?" I whisper.

"You still call him boyfriend after everything he did to you?" Now she looks at me in shock.

"I'll tell you why I beat him up. I pummeled him because I saw him kissing a girl which wasn't you and I also beat him up because he raped you!" Her eyes widen.

"You found out...how?" She asks.

"Your _boyfriend _told me how he enjoyed you... He seemed to be proud and so I couldn't control myself I just hit and punched him without thinking about the consequence. Maybe it was wrong but..." Now I look at Sam and see that her eyes still widen. And so I regret that I yelled at her.

"But why didn't you tell me?" I whisper while tears fall down my face the second time today. She doesn't say anything.

"You promised me if you've got problems you're the first person you'll talk to. I really wanted just to help you Sam! But then you told me that you don't need my help. And so you hid that you cut your wrists... and that Jacob raped you." I wait a moment before I go on.

"What would have happen if I wouldn't have found out? Would you still hide it? Would you still date someone who just... does those things to you?" Now I look at her and see that she also cries.

"Would you think that you don't need any help from a dork like me?" When I say she finally starts to talk.

"Wait! Freddie about this... I wanted your help but then Jacob sent me a text message that I should stay away from you and he threatened that he'll do it again if I don't do it." So Sam doesn't hate me. She just was scared of him. And so I ask me something.

"Did he something to you after you told me that you don't need me?" I'm shocked when she nods crying harder now. I hug her while I whisper through my tears "I'm so sorry Sam." The same words I said after destroying my room. She just keeps crying and I just hate Jacob more and more.

After a while we both stop to cry I start to talk.

"You're not mad at me anymore?" She looks up and shakes her head. I breathe out I'm maybe not happy about a lot of things but I'm happy that she isn't mad at me. And then we go to my bed and sit down and she leans against my shoulder. Then she looks up and gives me a slight smile.

"Now we both got a black eye...a little bit funny." Really we both got a black eye.

"I don't know if that's funny." I say when I touch my black eye.

And then we're again quiet for a while. I know that there are a lot of problems but now I'm just happy that Sam and I don't fight anymore and that she leans against my shoulder. But there's still something I want to know.

"Can you forgive me?" I say.

"Forgive what?" She asks without looking up.

"Forgive me that I couldn't protect you." Now she looks up and looks me straight in my eyes.

"Freddie I don't need to forgive you anything it's not your fault."

"Do you forgive me?" I repeat.

"Okay," She smiles. "I'll forgive you if you answer me my question."

"Which question?"

"From now on..." She looks me straight in my eyes. "_You_ will protect me, right?"

She wants that I protect her... I'm so happy. I can't even talk so I just smile and nod.

She smiles back. "That's great..." She says and the she puts her arms around my neck. Her face gets closer to mine. I can feel her breathe on my skin and her lips also getting closer until they touch mine. I can't describe it. I just feel her soft lips on mine.

Sadly this kiss doesn't last long after a few seconds she stops. But she has a big smile on her face.

"That's great..." She says again.

* * *

While this happens in Freddie's apartment another girl is sitting in her room and cries. She cries until her pillow is all wet and she sobs so loud that her brother comes into her room and asks what's wrong. But the girl doesn't answer just hugs her brother and cries. She cries until she falls asleep.

* * *

_**So Sam and Freddie kissed...isn't that great? But there's also the crying girl at the end. I guess it's not**__** hard to find out who's the girl at the end... But if you don't know let me ask you something... Do you really think Carly cried at the beginning because she only felt sorry for Freddie?... Think about it :) **_

_**I'm sorry it's really short but I just don't have enough time! It's almost Christmas and so I have a lot to do...**_

_**And because I'm not sure if I can upload the next chapter before Christmas I wish you all a...**_

_** MERRY CHRISTMAS! \(^.^)/ **_

_**And don't forget REVIEW!!! xD  
**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**So you found out who's the 'mysterious' girl? Really smart xD**_

_**Whatever let's go on with the story! **_

_**~Enjoy~**_

_**Yep I don't own anything.**_

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Chapter 10

Carly's POV

Tears... I sit on my bed my knees close to my chest and my hands are in my hair while I keep crying and crying.

"_I was in love with you..." _I'm so stupid. I had my chance... the whole time he told me that he was in love with me and what I've done? I always told him that we would _never_ be couple. And yeah we _won't_ be a couple but now because he doesn't love me. _"Carly...I'm in love with Sam."_ Yeah he loves Sam not me.

But it's my own fault that I thought he'll always love me and wait until I also love him and now I'll never be with him. I realize this and just cry harder.

Suddenly someone knocks on the door.

"Carly?" It's Spencer. "Can I come in?" He asks.

"Yeah..." I say when I wipe away my tears. And then he comes in a worried look on his face. And so he sits down next to me and put his arm around my shoulder.

"Carly what happened?" He looks me in my eyes.

"Nothing..." I lie.

"Carly you can't tell me you cried three hours because of nothing." The tears I tried to hold back fall down now. Surprised he hugs me and I cry so that his shirt is wet.

"I wished it was nothing..." I finally say.

"What is it?" My brother asks calm.

"Freddie...he...doesn't...love...me..." I say through my tears and every word hurts that I can't describe the pain I feel right now.

"But he always loved you and since when do you care?" He's very confused.

"I care since... I don't really know...but today when he told me that..." I have to wait few seconds before I go on. "That he loves Sam..." And now I can't continue I just keep crying and sobbing. I can't see Spencer but I guess that he's shocked and worried.

"Shh... Don't cry." How I shouldn't cry? I realize about my feelings for Freddie and then the same day he tells me that he's in love with Sam... He pummeled Jacob until he was unconscious just because he loves Sam...

Sam my best friend... Why couldn't he love someone else? Why Sam my best friend? Now I don't know how I should act when she's in my apartment...

But what if she also loves Freddie? What if they get together? Was I supposed to act like always? Was I supposed to hide my feelings? Was I supposed to be always the best friend? Was I supposed to act normal while they're dating and I just feel pain?

These are just a few questions they're in my head while I cry and sob and while Spencer is hugging me.

"I thought he would always love me... I thought that would never change... And then when we danced there was something... At this time I didn't know that this feeling would grow stronger... And today when I saw him in his destroyed room I knew it... I knew that he's the boy... the boy I love..."

"Carly... I'm so sorry..." He just says. I know he doesn't know what to say. I guess he never saw me this way.

"But now he doesn't love me anymore he loves Sam... It's too late..." I grab Spencer's shirt and cry harder and harder...

"It's too late..."...

* * *

Freddie's POV

"Soooo..." I say with a happy grin on my face. Sam just smiles and shakes her head.

"You're a real dork you know?" This time it doesn't hurt that she calls me a dork because I know how she means it.

"I'm a happy dork." I laugh. And then she leans against my shoulder.

"Yep you are..." Her smile disappears and she just stares into space, something is wrong with her. And so I have instead of my grin a worried look on my face.

"What's wrong?" Surprised she looks up obviously she was lost in her thoughts until now.

"Uh Nothing..." She shakes smiling her head. This smile doesn't look real it's a fake smile.

"Sam... Do we want to start this whole 'it's nothing'-thing again?" I ask. Really I don't want that she hides something for me. It's not that I want to know _everything _but if something bothers her I want to know.

Before she answers she looks me in the eyes. "I don't think you want to know..."

I roll my eyes. "If I didn't want to know I wouldn't ask..." And then she turns around she doesn't want to look me in the eyes.

"You're sure...?" I nod. Of course I'm sure...stupid question.

"I was thinking about... Jacob..." Jacob... is she scared of him? Maybe I'd also be scared I mean... what he did to her.

"Maybe I should visit him tomorrow... Do you think his injuries are bad?" His injuries...? He raped her, he cheated on her and she cares about his injuries and wants to visit him? And so I can't say anything.

"Freddie?" She asks hesitantly.

"Uhm I don't know... I hope his injuries aren't bad and that this poor kid doesn't have to suffer..." I say sarcastic. But when I see Sam's face I regret it.

"I knew you didn't want to hear it..." She whispers.

"I'm sorry... I just can't understand you. First you kiss me and then suddenly you care about Jacob's injuries. I don't get it." I just say what I'm thinking. And I mean can't she understand that it also hurts me if she says things like that? She kissed me few minutes ago and suddenly she wants to visit Jacob...

"Oh that's how you think about me that I just kiss a guy because I have nothing to do and then a few minutes later I care about another boy? Thanks!" I give her a surprised look. "I'm not such a person..." Her voice gets lower now.

"Sam..." I say with an apologizing sound. "No Freddie... I won't tell you anything anymore because you really don't understand me." She stands up but before she can leave through the door I grab her hand.

"Okay... would you please explain what you think and feel right now so that I _maybe_ can understand you?" She looks up.

"If you really want to know... I don't care about Jacob. To be honest Freddie I hate him! I just want to visit him so that I can break up with him because I feel bad if I kiss another boy while I date him." I feel really stupid right now... She wants to break up with him. And I act one more time like a total dork.

"I'm sorry... I'm a complete moron..." She looks me in the eyes.

"Yep you are! You just think I kissed you because of nothing. And you think that I don't know what I want." Now I'm the one who looks her in the eyes...

"I don't think that it was because of nothing... but I don't know why you did it." And now I'm shocked how fast I get an answer.

"I did it because I love you Freddie..." I stare at her. She loves me? I thought she feels something but that's it actually love.

"When we didn't talk I felt horrible... I knew I hurt you a lot and that you were upset and that you wouldn't forgive me. But I missed you...I really missed you. I actually talked to this stuff bear you gave to me and when I slept it was on my side a smiling on the face... And then I realized that I love you..."

"I love you, too." We both smile. "Would you feel bad about another kiss from me?"

"I think I can live with it..." And so I lean in and kiss her again. It's better than my first kiss and it's better than the kiss a few minutes ago...it's the best kiss ever. We're both into it...

But then she stops and smiles.

"I will go home now..." I look surprised.

"But why...." She can't go now that she just couldn't do that.

"Freddie I guess now it's the perfect time to leave okay?" The perfect time to leave...? I can't understand it. Whatever...I can't change her mind so I just nod.

"If you want..." I say sad.

"Okay...come on!" She grabs my hand and goes with me to the door.

"What are you doing?" I yell.

"Well, you show me to the door." She giggles.

"Really?" I don't think that I show her to the door, I guess _she_ shows _me_ the door...

"Really..." We arrive at my door.

"Bye Fredweird..." She smiles and kisses my cheek. And so I just can smile.

And before she goes in the elevator I say. "I love you." She turns around. "Love you, too."

These words just make me happy... Sam loves me.

* * *

Carly's POV

"Let's make some spaghetti tacos!" Spencer says while he pulls me to the kitchen. I don't want to eat something...

"Do we have to do this?" He nods.

"Spaghetti tacos make people happy..." He laughs. I know he just wants to cheer me up but spaghetti tacos wouldn't help.

"They won't make _me_ happy." I say my head down and trying not to cry again.

"C'mon! I won't let you alone in your room crying and suffering. We will make spaghetti tacos right now!" And so he takes everything out of the shelves what he needs.

"So first we'll make the spaghettis okay?" I don't want to make spaghetti tacos... I'm not hungry!

"Whatever..." Now he looks me in the eyes.

"Carly be in the spaghetti taco mood." He smiles. Spaghetti taco mood...?

"I won't be in a _spaghetti taco mood! _And I won't make spaghetti tacos! Why can't you just leave me alone?" I yell at him and sit down on our couch. He looks surprised but not angry. I'm too vigorous for him....

Suddenly I hear something... voices? Now I'm getting insane. Anyway I stand up and look through the spy hole. And actually I see Sam and Freddie standing together.

"Really..." Sam has a smile on her face. And then she says "Bye Fredweird..." And then she kisses his cheek. She kisses his cheek... A tear falls down my face. But like it's not enough pain he says "I love you." And she answers. "I love you, too"

And so I get on my knees and start to cry. Straightaway Spencer comes to me.

"Carly... what happened?" I sob and a thousand tears fall down my face.

"She loves him...too..." He hugs me but I just can't stop. I knew it. She also loves him. They're together now...

"Carly..." I know that he feels sorry for me but he's also over challenged. I think this is the first time I'm such a crying and sobbing girl.

"I knew it... It's too late. Now they're together and they're happy." Spencer just hugs me.

It isn't a dream I can tell. This pain is real and also the love between Freddie and Sam...

* * *

Freddie's POV

Am I wrong or did I just heard what I think I heard? Is Carly crying because she heard me and Sam? Could it be that Carly is jealous? Could it be that Carly maybe loves me?

* * *

_**I'm so sorry about that part with Freddie and Sam fighting...it was mushy. -.-*.**_

_**But today I just had to write some mushy thing after these episodes they're coming soon... I just think about iSaved your life and the Creddie kiss... I mean Creddie is kind of cute but Seddie is just awesome. **_

_**And there's also another thing... It's really easy to make me happy just click the green button below! (It's like a Christmas present for me) ;D **_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hey guys! **_

_**I know maybe it's a little too late but I hope everyone had a nice Christmas! :)  
**__**Thank you so much for these nice reviews x) I was so happy when I read them! :D **_

_**I don't own iCarly... **_

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Chapter 11

Freddie's POV

"Now it doesn't matter if I love him or not... " I stand here listen to the words which the crying and sobbing girl says behind this door...The door of Carly Shay's apartment.

I just stand there shocked, confused and my eyes are widened. Carly Shay is in love with me... The girl I _had _a crush on since I met her. But she never liked me back and so I slowly gave up on her. And now I'm over her and I love another girl... her best friend. And her best friend also loves me and she saw us together and now she knows.

I lean against the wall, run my fingers through my hair and hear Carly crying. I can also barely hear that Spencer is whispering "I'm sorry Carly..." She saw me and Sam telling that we love each other.

But this won't help... No matter how many times somebody hugs her and tells her 'I'm so sorry' you'll still suffer. These hugs and this 'I'm sorry' won't ease the pain you feel when you see the person you love with another one. It won't make that every time you see them together happy not a part from you dies. And it won't make that you sleep at night. It won't make that you don't fake a smile or a laugh a day.

I can understand her because I felt the same way when I always saw Sam and Jacob together. But for her it's harder than for me because Sam and I are her best friends. We're the one who should cheer her up. And what am I doing? I just do the opposite. I make her crying on the ground.

But how could I help her? I can't help her. I can't stop loving Sam and being with her. That would also break Sam's heart. And this is also one thing I definitely don't want. But I also don't want that our whole friendship is just... gone. I know her for so long and I don't want to loose her as a friend. But right now I don't know how I should avoid it...

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I only now notice that my mom is looking for me.

"Freddie?" The door next to me opens and my mothers face appears. She looks worried and you can see that she cried a lot.

"What?" I ask. Today I wasn't and I'm not the best son but now I just have to think about more important things right now.

"Would you please come in? I made something to eat... I thought you're maybe hungry." I turn around. Her voice sounds like she's near crying again. So I nod and before I go in my apartment I look for a short moment at Carly's door.

Now I'm sitting with my mother in the kitchen. It's silent she just stares at me and wait that I eat something. I'm not hungry. Maybe I should because the last time I ate something was this morning. But I see her glance and so I just take my fork and eat some beans. Now I can see a slight smile on her face.

"So... how do you feel?" She asks suddenly and I look up from my plate.

"Uhm... okay." I lie I don't feel okay. I feel rough.

"Freddie... Maybe you think I'm stupid but I can see that you don't feel okay." I know that she isn't stupid but I also know that she wouldn't understand me. So I just don't say anything.

"Then don't talk to me. Bottle up _everything_... That will make _everything_ better..." She says sad and a little bit upset. Great now I really feel better... Of course she wants to know what bothers me. And If I knew that she could help me I really would talk to her but she can't.

We're both quiet. I stopped to eat and she just sits there in front of me. She waits and stares at me. I know she wants that I talk to her. And after a while I can't take it anymore. I'll tell her _almost_ everything knowing that it doesn't help but she won't stop staring at me if I don't talk so...

"You're right I'm not okay..." I start.

"And what's wrong?" She asks happy about that I finally talk but she looks serious.

"Well, first I have to tell you that..." I hesitate. "I love Sam and she loves me too." I wait for a reaction... maybe that her eyes widen or that she screams or something like that... but nothing. She just nods and waits for me going on.

"Uhm aren't you surprised?" I'm really wondering. _My _mother hears that I'm in love with Sam the girl she always called a 'bad company'. And now she just nods!?

"Freddie I told you I'm not stupid..." She smiles. "And now go on okay?"

"Uh... okay." I just say still confused. "So Sam and I love each other..." I say again looking at my mom wondering if that's really her.

"Freddie I won't freak out because you grow up..." Okay now she really surprises me. She tells me that she won't freak out because I grow up. That's not her typical attitude. I'm speechless...

But when she gives me a questioning look I go on.

"Uhm... And that's great and awesome but I just heard few minutes ago that Carly loves me and that she saw me and Sam..." My mom nods again she seems to be calm.

"And now you don't know what to do because you want to be Sam's boyfriend but you also don't want that you ruin your friendship with Carly, right?" I thought she wouldn't understand right? I didn't know that I can be so wrong...

"Right..." I just say...more I can't. Again I'm speechless.

"This is a problematic situation..." I also know that this is a problematic situation. And now she also doesn't know what I should do...

"I know..." I hide my face in my hands and feel how a tear rolls down my cheek.

"Oh Freddie..." My mother runs to me and hugs me. "Freddie...I'm so sorry." I cry again like a little child. But I can't help it. I thought everything gets better when Sam came to me and now it's just worse... I don't regret that I and Sam are together now that's the last thing I'd do... but Carly.

I just hug my mother and cry. This way we stand a really long time, she just whispers a thousand times 'Sorry' in my ear until I decide to sleep. I mumble something of 'Thank you' and 'Good night' and then I go in my room leaving my mother alone in the kitchen.

Without putting on my pyjama I go in my bed. I know it's only eight or nine pm and that I won't sleep tonight. But I also know that it doesn't make sense to sit crying in my mothers arms in the kitchen. But make it more sense to sit alone in my room and to cry...?

* * *

Sam's POV

Yeah and breaking up with Jacob. I don't know it's weird. No matter what he did to me we were dating for five months. In five months can change and happen a lot. And it happened a lot. First Jacob was the nicest, cutest and best boyfriend ever but then just something happened with him. He was just disgusting and sometimes he was drunk. I wonder what would have happen if he didn't change... We would still be together, I guess. But then I wouldn't have realized what I feel for Freddie...

That doesn't matter. I'll break up with him. Maybe he'll freak out and yell at me or slap me. I have to break up with this guy. Wait... what if he freaks out yells at me and slaps me? I'm not strong enough to react against him... I know this. I had such a situation before... Suddenly I realize how dangerous this situation is... No matter how long we were dating I never knew what he was going to do...

Suddenly I'm really scared. I can't go there alone... but who should I take with me...Freddie? Wouldn't it be strange if I go and break up with Jacob while I'm on the side of my new boyfriend? It would be... but otherwise with which person I should go if I don't go with Freddie? There is nobody else...

And suddenly my phone rings. I just pick up. "Hey?"

"Hey Sam! It's Freddie..." When I hear his voice I cheer up.

"Freddie! I also wanted to call you there's something I wanted to ask you something..." I really wanted to call him but if he does it's good.

"Uhm okay...ask." His voice sounds weird... something is wrong.

"Freddie...what's wrong?" I bet I sound really worried right now.

"Nothing..." There's something I know. I can actually feel it.

"What is it?" I can be annoying Freddie...

"Really nothing..." But that's also annoying. I'm sure something is wrong and I want to know right now.

"Then why did call me?" Yep good question... He just calls me speak with a sad, confused voice and when you ask him what's wrong he just says 'Nothing'.

"I just...wanted to hear your voice..." I would be happy about this sentence if I didn't know that this isn't the real reason and if it didn't sound more like a question.

"C'mon Freddie... just tell me what's wrong." I'm surprised that my voice sounds so nice and not angry...

"Really nothing..." Okay that's enough. I stand up take my jacket and run out my apartment.

"Sam what are you doing?" He asks when he hears the noises in the background.

"I'm coming over to you..." When I'm standing in front of him he won't say 'Nothing' again. And also he helped me a lot when I had these injuries and now something bothers him and so I'll help him.

"What? You can't just come over." He says surprised.

"But I'll... See you!" And then I just push the red button and go outside.

* * *

I just walk along the street wondering what Freddie tries to hide. I look at my watch it's 9.15pm. That's the reason why it's so dark outside. I decide to take a shortcut so I'll be at Freddie's in about fifteen minutes... I don't care about the darkness. A lot of times I walked along the streets at night. Then I just could think about everything. Maybe the night is better for me than the day... who knows?

I waste my thoughts on such stupid things when I suddenly hear a voice behind me.

"Little girls like you shouldn't be here so late..." I turn around and there stands a tall and scary boy. My eyes widen and I can't move when I see the knife in his hand.

He slowly approaches me and now I can see that he doesn't show any feelings he just stares at me. I feel in my pocket there's no money I just feel my cell phone. I can't just call the police this guy wouldn't let me. And run? I guess I'm not fast enough... Why took I this stupid shortcut?

"I hate blonde girls..." He suddenly says still approaching me. What? He wants to kill me because I'm blond? Is he mentally disturbed? Maybe... I heard from such people. They hate everyone who has for example blond hair because their ex-girlfriend had blond hair or something like that. But it doesn't matter why this guy is going to kill me... I'm supposed to die on a lonely street.

He gets closer there only four meters between me and him. But suddenly something unexpected happens a person just push this boy away. I try to see who it is but it's too dark and this boy or man or whatever moves really fast.

I can't see exactly what happens because everything happens really fast. But at the end the boy with the knife lays bleeding on the ground. And the other person stands there with a broken bottle in his hands. Apparently he bashed him on the head with this bottle and so this boy fell down.

I still can't move, I still stand there speechless and I still don't know who the one who rescued me is. Maybe it's Freddie? No this guy is taller then him. But it seems like I'll get my answer really soon because this boy comes closer.

"Are you alright?" He just asks. A simple question I couldn't answer. I thought I'm speechless but only now I'm really speechless, breathless and shocked. The boy who gives me a nice smile is no less a figure than Jacob...

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_**Surprise, surprise! xD **_

_**I guess you're also surprised, huh? :D **_

_**Maybe you've got many questions right now... Perhaps something like "Wasn't Jacob in the hospital?" or "Why is he also there and helps Sam?"... But I just can tell you that you have to wait until the next chapter...  
**__**I know it was a really short chapter but its 4.21am and I'm so tired right now you can't imagine... (That also explains why there are maybe some spelling errors)  
**__**So I hope you know what you have to do... You don't? It's really easy you just have to click the green button and then you just have to write what you think about this chapter... you see its easy xD **_


	12. Chapter 12

_**I just **__**have to write the next chapter now! I thought I'll wait until the next year but then my laptop stared at me and whispered "Write the next chapter!" xD Is this a sign that I'm maybe crazy or weird...?(You shouldn't answer) :D **_

_**Whatever... doesn't matter if I'm nuts or not I just write this chapter...**_

_**SeddiexTwilight doesn't own iCarly!!!**_

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Chapter 12

Sam's POV

"Are you alright?" He asks again looking at me with his blue eyes. Am I alright? I'm not sure. Okay maybe I don't have any injuries but... Jacob rescued me! The boy who raped me, cheated on me and the boy I wanted to break up with.

"Sam..." He wants to grab my hand but I go one step back. Jacob sighs and looks at me again.

"Please Sam..." He looks at me pleadingly and his voice sounds maybe hurt. "I know what I've done to you but you can't imagine how I regret it Sam..."

"You regret it? I couldn't see that you regret it when you walked out of your apartment. I couldn't see that you regret that...." My voice breaks and a tear fall down my face.

"But can you see now that I regret it?" I look at him and there doesn't stand the disgusting Jacob. It's another Jacob... The Jacob I started to date a few months ago and the Jacob I thought that he is gone forever. But there he stands asking if I can see if he regrets what he has done to me. Honestly yes he looks like he regrets it. His blue watery eyes are staring at me, his voice breaks and there he stands he looks so weak... "But he still has done those things to you!" A voice in my head says. Yeah he still did this to me but...

"Please forgive me..." Now a tear rolls down his cheek and that just makes me cry harder but silent. Why? Why he does this to me? I wanted to break up with him. I just wanted to forget about everything. And now this boy stands crying in front of me begging me to forgive him. Can I forgive him? How can't I forgive him when he stands in front of me like this? I'm so confused right now...

"I know that you hate me and that this sounds unbelievable after everything I did to you but..." He goes one step forward and this time I don't go one step back. I just stand there confused and crying. If he says the words I think he'll I...

"I love you..." I look at him. "How can you say these words so easily?" I ask with a toneless voice.

"I can say it so easily because I _mean_ it..." He looks me straight in the eyes. Why? I ask me again. Why does it sound like... the truth? It really doesn't sound like a lie but how can it be the truth? He didn't do those things to me because he loves me... But why doesn't he act or look like a liar? And why do I still care about this? Why don't I just say "I won't forgive you!" leave and don't turn around?

"I really mean it... Sam I really love you." Another step he makes forward to me. He keeps looking at me waiting for an answer but what should I answer? The most people they hear these words would answer 'I love you too.' I don't know if I should answer with these words. Wouldn't it be weird after I told Freddie the same just few hours ago? And also it would be so stupid to tell the boy who raped you, cheated on you and even slapped you that you love him. But what if you really still feel something for him? Do I still feel something for him? But I love Freddie... I really love Freddie. But what is this feeling for Jacob if it's not love? What is it?

"Jacob..." I finally say. "What do you expect from me?" I can't just hug him, telling him that I forgive him and then we all live in happiness. This isn't a fairy tale... it really isn't.

"I just want that... we can start again." He looks at me hopeful.

"Start again?" No this is wrong... We can't just start again. It went too much too wrong... I should just forget about him. Forget what I feel right now and go to Freddie just like I wanted to. But now so much has changed. Now an honest, nice and somehow cute Jacob stands in front of me not this disgusting Jacob.

"I think we should end this..." I say and turn around. I cry and sob in my when I walk away. How can it be so hard to tell someone you're supposed to hate that you want to end everything? Everything you felt at the beginning, every smile he gave you and even the pain you felt. How can it feel so wrong but you know it's right and better?

"Sam!" He suddenly yells. I turn around and gosh this picture kills me. Jacob stands there alone crying. I know I should turn around and just walk on but I can't. I just stare at him... And then he comes to me. I don't know what to do I just stand there.

"Sam... You're sure you want to go home alone?" I look at him. I know that he want to change my mind. And there's also another thing I know...a part from me wanted that he carries me home. But another part wanted to be with Freddie.

"It's really dangerous here..." He says when I don't answer and looks at the guy who still lays on the ground bleeding. He's also still here. Maybe I should call an ambulance... But before I can continue with thinking about this boy Jacob grabs my hand. And I let him grab my hand. Everything in my head screams "Wrong!" but I just let him hold my hand. And so he carries me home. "Wrong!" Another time everything in my head screams.

So we walk along the streets and holding hands. It's so wrong. Why didn't I just go to Freddie? Why I still walk along the streets with Jacob while I know that's wrong?

Now we're at my house. We didn't talk the whole time so it's kind of weird that he suddenly starts to talk.

"I just wanted to carry you home one last time... Now you can end it." Another tear falls down his cheek and so also my cheek is wet from tears. Why?

"Jacob..." My voice breaks. I just stand there crying. Why didn't this guy just kill me? Then I wouldn't have to say goodbye to Jacob. C'mon Puckett just say bye...

"Jacob..." I start again really wanting to finish it but I can't... I can't speak while someone kisses me. Again "Wrong!" everything screams. "Wrong!" it screams when I close my eyes. "WRONG!" Everything screams when I kiss back. But I just ignore them. I missed his sweet and soft kisses. "Wrong!" Again I can hear the scream. I don't stop. I let him put his hands on my waist and pull me closer to him. "Wrong!" I know its wrong...

And then after a while he lets go and looks me straight in the eyes. And then he whispers.

"Now end it..." Of course he knows that I can't just end it after he kissed me. Why? Again there is this question.

"Jacob..." Again I start this sentence and again I can't finish him but this time it's not Jacob who interrupts me... it's another person.

"No Sam, don't end it..." I turn around. My eyes widen, I can't breathe and my hearts beat faster than anytime before. Freddie... Freddie stands there also having tears in his eyes. Freddie... did he saw? Of course he saw it.

Jacob also turns around and he's also surprised. But then he put his hand around my shoulder and I can see the pain in Freddie's eyes. Again tears fall down my face. What I've done to Freddie?

"_Oh that's how you think about me that I just kiss a guy because I have nothing to do and then a few minutes later I care about another boy? I'm not such a person..."_ This I told Freddie few hours ago... and now he sees me kissing another boy.

"What are you doing here?" Jacob asks.

"Well, I just wanted to look for Sam because she told me she wants to come over but she didn't come but apparently she had some other stuff to do..." Freddie looks on the ground now. Again I ask me what I've done... I just hurt Freddie after everything he did for me.

But I still didn't anything. I feel so horrible right now. I want to die. And again I ask me why this guy didn't kill me? I have to say something. But I can't

Suddenly Freddie comes closer to me and Jacob. He looks me straight in the eyes. It's hard to hold his gaze his chocolate brown eyes are full of tears and he just looks hurt...

"Sam? You know what we told each other... I was serious about it. But I guess you weren't..." And then he turns around and leaves. He just goes the same direction he came from.

"What did you tell each other?" Jacob suddenly asks. I look up and hesitate before I answer his question.

"He told me that he loves me and I told him that I love him, too." Now I look in other eyes...they also full of tears now. And they also look hurt.

"So you love him?" I nod. I love Freddie. Of course I love Freddie...

"And you kiss me?" He shakes his head and also leaves. He also just goes away. And I'm alone. I know it's my own fault. I know it. Why didn't I listen to this screams they were in my head. And again why didn't this guy just kill me?

And so suddenly I just start to run. Yeah I just run through the streets. Now I know what I have to do... Nobody will just suffer or cry because of me. Nobody...

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_**Short-shorter-chapter 12 xD **_

_**I know really short... But the next chapter I promise this will be longer than any chapter I've written before because there will happen a lot :D **_

_**Oh and this has nothing to do with my fanfiction but did you saw the iSaved your life promo the longer one? Ah I just can't wait anymore! I mean we know that Carly and Freddie kiss... But I what happens after that? How will Sam react? Why isn't the 18**__**th**__** January today? Soooo many questions ;D**_

_**And don't forget to review! REVIEW! xD**_

_**Oh Oh and I also almost forgot: **__**I wish you a happy new year!**__** (Yep, I won't update this year again) **_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Hey guys!**_

_**Before you read chapter 13 just one thing... Today I have a Seddie-obsessed day xD **_

_**I hope it's really the longest chapter I've ever written :)**_

_**So now enjoy! x]**_

_**I still don't own anything!!!**_

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Chapter 13

Freddie's POV

A tear falls down my face. I still have this picture on my mind. They just stand there, kissing, his hand around her waist and her eyes were closed. Didn't she tell me that she hates him? This didn't look like hate that looked like _love._ How can she love him? He raped her, he cheated on her and he made her cut herself. He is the reason for all the tears they fell down her face. And now she kisses him? It also didn't look like he forced her doing this. She looked like she really enjoyed it. She enjoyed it because she loves him... Gosh she loves him! She doesn't love me. No matter if she said the opposite or not. I'm so stupid! I really thought that she loves me. I really thought that she meant what she said. I'm a real dork just thinking that after all this time there could be suddenly something... Maybe she didn't even know what she said. Maybe she was just in the mood or it's her way to say thank you. Whatever it was... it wasn't the truth.

I put my earphones on and turn up the volume. Maybe I can't hear my thoughts then. Which song I heard the last time? Ah "Everything" by Lifehouse... I love this song.

"'Cause you're all I want, you're all I need everything.  
You're everything, everything.  
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?"

I sing low along these lines while more tears fall down my face. She's everything to me... But now I don't want to hear this song. I just look for a better one. I don't want to think about her. I want to forget these pictures.

"This time all I want is you.  
There's no one else,  
Who can take your place."

Okay I don't think I've got the right songs on my iPod... But it doesn't matter if I find the right song or not I won't stop thinking about her... I guess she doesn't think about me. Of course she still stands there with Jacob. Maybe she doesn't even care that I saw them... She doesn't care about me. She doesn't want me. She doesn't love me and never loved me. That's clear. She cares about Jacob. She wants Jacob. She loves him and always loved him. I can't understand it but that's also clear...

"Everything is clear..." I whisper.

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Sam's POV

I ran but now I just walk slowly along the street. My eyes are full of tears and when I want to wipe them away there are just more tears. Why I always have to hurt people? Why didn't I just stay at home? Then I wouldn't have meet Jacob. Then Freddie wouldn't have seen me and Jacob. Then they both wouldn't have cried.

Again the picture from Freddie appears in front of me. He became pale. His eyes were full of tears, and he looked so hurt, sad and maybe frustrated. I'd feel the same way. He always helped me, he helped me when he found me on the street and he did this because he loves me. And then he just saw me kissing Jacob. See me kissing the boy who raped me and cheated on me. He has to be really confused, disappointed and angry. Maybe he hates me now. He hates me just like Jacob does. I also hurt Jacob. His eyes were also full of tears and he was also hurt. More tears roll down my cheek.

But now I'll end everything. Freddie, Jacob and all the others I hurt I'll never hurt again. I won't make anyone cry again. I won't do anything ever again.

Now I'm almost there. I walk faster now. Everything just can stop if I do it now. Freddie and Jacob will find other girls, Carly will find another best friend and my mom will finally be happy... but that can just happen without me. I just make everything worse. My birth made everything worse. Just my death will make anything better. Without me everything will be better.

Now I'm finally there. It's been a while since I was here. I guess the last time I was at this bridge was three month ago. There was a time I was often here. It's a place where you can think about everything on your own. Here I also spoke with myself. But then I stopped going to this bridge. I don't even know why. But I know this bridge is the last thing I'll see.

Now I stand there few seconds before I die. I thought I'd fear the death. But I feel nothing. I don't even think about what happens after my death. Do I get into heaven? Or do I go to hell? These are question I don't care about. I just want to end it. That's all. I just want that I disappear.

And so I do a step forward. Now I look down. It's not so high but high enough to kill me. I want to climb over the railing but before I can do this I suddenly hear somebody yelling.

"What are you doing?" I turn around. And stare in the eyes of the boy in front of me.

"Is it so hard to guess?" I ask bitter. He looks me straight in the eyes and what can I see? I see a hurt look. Why did I turn around?

"But why do you wanted to do this?" And there are more of my tears. I guess today I lost a lot of tears. Maybe it's a new record?

"Why? Why? Are you serious?" My voice breaks. And the person I yelled at looks at me really shocked.

"Sam..." He approaches me. I know that he's still scared that I maybe could jump... for a good reason.

"Just leave me alone so I can finally end it!" He still approaches me. Step by step he comes closer.

"You won't end anything..." His voice sounds worried and scared. Another step he goes towards me.

"Leave me alone...please." It's almost a whisper now.

"Do you think you make anything better if you jump?" I shake my head.

"I don't think so... I know it." I look up again I see tears in his eyes. Why can't he just leave?

"You don't know anything! Just come with me. I take you to your apartment and there you can eat or drink something and then you will calm down." He is just three meters away from me. He puts forth his hand.

"Please..." He looks me in the eyes.

Why he had to come? I just wanted to jump and end everything. And now this boy just comes to me and thinks he can change my mind.

"Leave me alone...please." I say again. I really want that he just leaves. This is the best for both of us.

"Sam you can't just run away! Do you really think you know that everything will be better? Are you so stupid? Don't you know that everyone will miss you? Don't you know that everyone will suffer if you just jump?" I don't run away... or? Am I selfish? No I'm not. I don't want to run away. I want that everything will be better, right?

"Sam." And there another step and there again he puts forth is hand. It seems like he won't let me jump. It would be weird if he let me. And now he grabs my arm and pulls me away from the railing. I'm so shocked I can't say anything when he looks at me with his blue eyes. And then he whispers so low that I can barely hear it "Please don't do it."

And then his face and his lips approach mine. This approaching and begging it's like the situation just a few minutes or an hour ago. But this time I just push him away. This time I won't let him kiss me.

"What are you trying to do?" I yell with more tears rolling down my face.

"Sam..." Again he tries to come to me but I just turn around but before I start to run away. I look at him.

"Jacob... do you think you obliged me?" And then I just run away. I leave the bridge, Jacob and everything behind me. I just want to go home. And that's what I do. I just run home more confused than I was before.

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Freddie's POV

Still Sam on my mind I go upstairs. I don't want to use the elevator, I don't know why. I just go slowly upstairs and wipe away my tears. If my mom sees me I don't want that she see that I cried. She just would ask again. And I can't answer anything right now...

Again I can see Jacob and Sam kissing. I don't want to see it anymore. Why can't I just forget it? She doesn't love me. "She doesn't love me so just forget about her." I think to myself. But I didn't forget about her when she was dating Jacob. And now after I know how it could be to going out with her I'm supposed to forget everything?

Now I'm at my apartment. I open the door and the first person I see is my mother again the worried look on her face.

"Where have you been?" She asks. I can't answer anything right now. The same thought like before...

"Mom, please just leave me alone..." And now she yells at me, her facial expression changes really fast.

"Fredward Benson, I know about your problems and I know that you go through a difficult phase right now but don't have such an attitude!" I look at her. I know she's my mother but...

"Just because you yell that doesn't mean that I don't want to be alone anymore." I say with a toneless voice.

"You want to be alone? Fine then please tell Carly that you don't want to be her friend anymore. Guess what, she came to me when you were wherever and wanted to see you. And when she heard that you're not here she started to cry. She cried and told me that she doesn't want that you ignore her and if you don't want to be her friend anymore you should have enough nerve to tell her that on your own." I still want to be her friend and I don't ignore her. I just don't know what I should say if I meet her. I can't just act like I've never heard anything and like I don't know anything about her feelings for me. And that's why I didn't talk to her yet. And also why did she come to my mother?

"She came to you?" I ask now. Of course why should my mother lie?

"Yes and Freddie, she was really anxious about this whole thing. She also thought that's her fault... You have to talk to her." She doesn't yell now it seems like she's really worried about me and Carly's friendship.

I sigh. "Fine, I'll talk to her..." My mom smiles and then without making up a speech or anything I go to her apartment and knock on her door. I'm so scared.

* * *

Sam's POV

I go upstairs. Jacob saved my life but I'm not grateful... If he wouldn't have come I would have laid on the ground. Maybe with a laceration and there would have been a lot of blood. But I bet I would have had a smile on my face. And I would have been happy. Yeah but he destroyed everything. Now I have to live with the pain and regretting every step I do alive.

I open my door. It's dark so I guess my mom still isn't here now. That's maybe the best thing that happened today.

What I'm going to do now? Maybe I should watch TV or something like that. I don't want to think about what happened just few minutes ago. I'm such a psychopath...

I go into my room after I took a bottle of water out of the fridge. But this bottle falls down when I see what happening on my bed.

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Freddie's POV

Carly opens the door. And her face lights up when she sees me.

"Freddie! I was so worried when I was at your apartment and you weren't there. Where have you been?" And now she hugs me. I'm shocked she acts like everything is ok. I thought she'd feel awkward or she'd look sad but she just smiles.

"Well, I just went for a walk..." I'm still not sure how to act and what to say but I know I won't tell her anything about Jacob, Sam and me. But know her facial expression changes. She looks me straight in the eyes with a cold look.

"You were with Sam?" I open my mouth and want to say something but instead of doing this I just close it and shrug my shoulders.

"Kind of..." I look down and try to hold back my tears.

"She hurt you, right?" She looks at me and only now I realize that still has her arms around me. And now I start to cry. The tears just fall down my face.

"Freddie, don't cry." She wipes away my tears and her hand rests on my face after she did it.

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Sam's POV

My eyes are widened and I can barely breathe. My mom is sitting or lying on my bed and another man is _on _her. I know what she's doing it's not hard to guess but why are they doing this on my bed? When my mother sees me she doesn't seem to be shocked. She just stops doing _it _and tell this guy something. I don't know what but apparently she told him that I'm her daughter. He also doesn't seem to be embarrassed. He just starts to laugh after he let go of my mother. I just stand there disbelieving what's going on right now. But after a few seconds I turn around and go in our living room.

I sit down on our couch. And only now I realize the ten or fifteen beer bottles. Of course they drank... too much. I don't know how I should feel. Maybe I should feel embarrassed, angry or disappointed but I just feel the same like when I was on the bridge... nothing. I start to stop caring about anything...

And then I hear a noise. It sounds like our door. I just hope that they both left but they didn't. Well, he did but my mother is still here. I know this because she's standing in front of me an angry look on her face.

"I hate you!" I look at her. _I start to stop caring about anything._

"That's what a mother should do." I say with a toneless voice. She gets angrier now. _I start to stop caring about anything._

She grabs my hair and pushes me against the wall. _I start to stop caring about anything_. And then she punches me in my stomach. But I don't say anything. I don't scream...I do nothing. _I start to stop caring about anything_.

"I hate you!" She yells at me and punches me in my face. _I start to stop caring about anything._

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Freddie's POV

Her face slowly approaches mine while she whispers "I can take your pain away."

I don't really know what I should say. But then I see Jacob and Sam again. And so I don't stop her when she comes closer and kisses me. I actually kiss back. I put my arms around her waist and pull her closer to me. And for the short moment I let go I just say "Carly I'll hurt you..." But instead of answering she just kisses me.

She runs her fingers through my hair and the centimeter space between us disappears. And also the picture of Jacob and Sam is disappearing. When she takes my jacket off I don't stop her and I also don't stop her when she takes me to her room. I don't stop when she pulls me to her bed and I also don't stop her when she takes of her shirt. She doesn't stop me when I start to kiss her neck. She doesn't stop me when I start to take off her jeans.

And with every move we make and with every kiss of her Sam Puckett slowly disappear. I know that I still love Sam and I know that Carly knows that, too. I know that I'll hurt her but right now I don't care.

Now I know how to forget about Sam for a moment...

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Sam's POV

Why didn't this guy kill me? Why didn't I jump? Why I'm still alive? Why I hate myself and my life? And why did I kiss Jacob? I just realized this a few seconds ago. For Jacob and me it's too late. I don't love him the way I love Freddie. I know I just want Freddie. And that I was just confused when Jacob suddenly started to be the way he was when we met. I only want Freddie and nobody else. But does he still want me? I guess not.

Another punch, another kick and another slap... _I start to stop caring about anything._

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_**This was chapter 13! **_

_**I hope you liked this chapter. And I also hope that you tell me what you think! The green button below laugh when you click it... Uh **__**no wait... it's just a hallucination... Maybe I should go to bed... xD**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Hey everyone! **_

_**I saw iSaved your life and I was really surprised. I knew that there was going to be ONE Creddie kiss but they kissed every time they saw each other!? I was speechless... And honestly that was really too much kissing. It's not just because I'm Seddie... it was just weird and abnormal. **__**But I still liked this episode because it was really funny. I loved this paintball thing. xD **_

_**~Enjoy~**_

_**And I don't own anything! **_

_

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Chapter 14

Freddie's POV

"You little nerd..." These words make me open my eyes. But I'm not wrong it isn't a blond girl. It's a brunette. I knew it... It's just the word the word "nerd" reminds me of... "I won't think about that now!" I think to myself. But I can't help it. I just heard this word too many times from another girl. From the girl I'm in love with...

"Fredweird..." Again she says such a word. Can't she just stop? I want to forget about that girl. I don't even want to think or say her name. And since when does Carly say the same words like... _she_ always did? I just want that she shut up and so I kiss her and press her body against mine. She looks a little bit surprised but then a big grin appears on her face...

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I play with her brown hair while her head rests on my chest. I just stare at the wall.

"You know Freddie..." Carly smiles at me. Every other boy would freak out because of this cute face but... I just feel sorry for her. I just use her to forget about the girl I'm in love with while she's in love with me. I'm a really mean person.

"Huh?" I look at her.

"This was the first time I ever slept with a boy..." She looks down and then she blushes. And only now I realize what I did. This was also my first time. But I never wanted that the girl I have my first time with is Carly Shay. I always wanted that my first time is..... Stop! I won't forget anyone if I don't stop.

"Really...?" I ask confused. But she nods. And so I decide to put my hand on her cheek and kiss her.

I'm rude...

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Sam's POV

I'm lying on the ground. Everywhere is blood... my blood. This time my mother wanted to kill me. And it feels like she almost did it. I can barely breathe and every part of my body hurts but I stand up. And for some reason I go into my room. There is something I really want right now.

I fall and the shards bore deeper into my hand. It hurts and more blood courses. But again I stand up. I just need this so bad right now. And so I slowly go into my room and there is it. My stuff bear...

I just hug it. And while I hold this little smiling bear in my arm I realize what I have to do. I know Freddie hates me and he'll probably never forgive me but I still want that he knows what I feel. I want that he knows that I'm in love with him... only with him.

And somehow I stand up again. My head still hurts and still every part of my body hurts but I don't care. I just want that he knows what he's for me.

I take the elevator because I just can hardly walk.

It's really cold outside. What time is it? I don't know but maybe it's almost midnight. I feel dizzy. But I just press the stuff bear closer to me and go on.

But suddenly everything is black. I can't see anything. I just hear some people scream.

"Call an ambulance!"

And then I fall asleep...

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Freddie's POV

I go on the couch were Carly is waiting for me.

"I never thought it lasts so long to take a shower." She laughs. We both can't sleep for different reasons and so we decided to watch TV.

And suddenly Spencer comes in. I don't know where he was. But he's sweating and can just hardly tell us what both of us really shocks.

"Carly...Freddie... Sam is in a coma!"

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_**Oh no! I have no time! -.-**_

_**That's why this chapter is REALLY short. But I wanted to post something before you think I'm not going on with this story. **_

_**But please REVIEW! =D **_

_**See you! **_


	15. Chapter 15

**H****ey! **

**Thank you for your reviews! I was SO happy... \(^.^)/ **

**And because I left it as a cliffhanger I just thought that I should write the next chapter...**

**Uhm, something else?.... Nope! **

**So just enjoy chapter 15! **

**I don't own iCarly!**

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Chapter 15

Freddie's POV

"Freddie, let's go in together..." Carly says behind me while she runs after me so that it isn't such a long distance between me, Spencer and her.

But how can I wait? The room where Sam is lying in is just few meters away from me. There she's lying in _coma_... In this room is the person lying, I wanted to forget about. In this room is lying the person I _can't_ forget about. Really, I can't forget about her. I did my best to do this. I even slept with Carly just to forget her face, her hair and her way to do things in her own sweet, sometimes selfish and aggressive but awesome way. But it doesn't work. Samantha Puckett is a person who is burning into your mind and a person you fall in love with if you don't take care... She's Samantha Puckett...

Of course I want into this room as fast as possible but for some reason I wait for Carly and Spencer. When they finally arrive they're both breathless and wait a second. I almost die waiting here. But then we go in...

There's Sam... she's lying in this bed there are a lot of hoses and she is on a drip. On her head is a big patch, around her hand is a bandage and on her arms are a lot of bruises. She's ashen-faced and she almost looks like she's dead...

Maybe it'd be better for her, right? She just has a miserable life. Her mom beats her, her boyfriend rapes her and her "best friend" sleeps with her other best friends while someone beats her up so that she's in coma... Her life isn't worth living and it just sucks... So maybe it's better for her if she never wakes up.

Suddenly Carly starts to crying, put her arms around my neck and hides her face in my chest. It's weird but I can't cry right now, I just think that Sam is lucky. She just sleeps right now and doesn't have to care about the world or her life. There's no need to cry, it would be selfish to cry...

Now the doctor comes in. He looks understanding at Carly. And then he sighs before he starts to talk.

"Good evening. Well, almost good morning..." He looks at us with a sickly smile. Everyone just nods. Well, everyone but Carly who is still crying on my shoulder.

"So, how bad are her injuries and what happened?" Spencer breaks the silence.

"Could we go into another room? I don't like it to talk about this in front of the patient..." Again everybody nods and then we follow the doctor until we arrive in an empty room. I guess here is the room where patients get medicated or something like this. Maybe that's the reason why it smells so... antibacterial.

The doctor tells us we should take a seat. And so we sit down. Carly takes my hand and I feel that she's trembling.

"We don't know what happened but it seems like someone beat her up. She has many bruises on her arm and a laceration on her head. This happened when she slumped. And then she had shards in her hand which we had to draw out. Also she has injuries in her stomach. We think that the person who beat her up also kicked her." Carly just trembles more and more and I hear how she sobs.

"And when will she wake up?" Spencer asks. And when he says these words Carly looks up. And the doctor sighs again.

"We don't know exactly... And it's possible that... she'll never wake up..." BAM! I leave hold of Carly who just breaks out in tears. And then I just stand up and leave.

There is just one person who could do this to Sam...her mom. I just remember the day she sat on my couch with a black eye and crying. Yeah her mother is the one who did this to her...

I want to sit down alone and just think. But when I slowly go to a chair which is standing near Sam's room, Jacob is standing in front of Sam's room and he's about to go in...

I just feel hate growing up in me. He has the courage to come here!? Gosh, right now I just want to kill him.

"Leave!" I just say through my clenched teeth. He turns around.

"What?" I look to the ground and kind of shake my head. How can he just come here while I'm in such a mood?

"Leave!" I say louder. I hate him.

"What happened with us?" I give him a look which says "What are you talking about!?"

"At the beginning of Sam and my friendship we were kind of friends but..." I just interrupt him.

"But then you raped Sam and cheated on her. So stop talking crap!" The last part I really scream and go to him but suddenly someone puts his arms around me and say "Stop Freddie!" It's Carly's voice.

"It doesn't help if you guys fight..." I take a deep breathe and try to calm down.

"You're such an asshole... Just go to your brunette." Now he looks me straight in the eyes.

"I'm not the only one who substitutes Sam by a brunette..." He says and looks at Carly who has still her arms around me.

"I'd never substitute Sam by anybody because nobody can displace Sam..." Carly lets go of me. Yeah I hurt her.

"I just want to see Sam and it'd be selfish if you wouldn't let me seeing Sam. I know what I did was wrong but Sam is still my girlfriend..." I just want to say something but Carly just talks.

"You're right... Just go and see Sam, I bet she'll forgive you." She smiles at him while he goes in.

I turn around and look at Carly. She looks provoking at me.

"I guess I should get some sleep... Bye..." I turn around and really want to go home. But suddenly Carly screams.

"Freddie, I love you! You hear? I _love_ you! So don't play with me..." When I look at her she kneels and cries.

"I told you that I'll hurt you..." Suddenly I don't care about her stupid tears, it's her own fault. Actually I don't care about anything...

And so I leave Carly alone on the ground and go home...

* * *

_Sam's confused face is right in front of me. It's just few seconds after we kissed. _

"_Hey!" I say with a big grin on my face. And then Sam turns around. _

"_I hate you!" Now a smile appears on her beautiful face. "I hate you, too." _

_We both know the real meaning of those words... _

I just remember this moment while I'm standing at the altar. There are a lot of guests in this church, I see Carly, Spencer, my mother near crying and also Wendy and other friends. But there's just one girl where my glance rests.

She's in a white dress and has flowers in her hands. Blonde curls cover her shoulders. And then she arrives at the altar and stands in front of me. She's so beautiful that I just can't stop smiling.

Now the pastor says the usual words which I don't really listen to. I just can stare at this girl in front of me. I'm so happy right now, it's hard for me to breathe.

"Do you Freddie Benson, take Samantha Puckett to be your lawful, wedded wife, to have and..." Again I stop listening and just concentrate on my answer while I hear some people sob. There's no reason to cry! I think before I answer "Yes, I do."

The girl answers the same after the pastor also asked her this question. And then there's the part with this whole kissing thing.

Sam just smiles while her lips approaching mine. And then we kiss. It's one of those movie kisses. Everything is just perfect. This is true happiness.

But suddenly the pastor says "It's possible that she'll never wake up." And BAM! I'm on the side of Sam's bed. Again there are those hoses and Sam...ashen-faced. And then the distance between us is getting longer and longer until I can't see her anymore.

And then I wake up... It was just a dream...

Suddenly I get up and take on my jeans and a T-shirt. And then I run out of my apartment. It's 4am and it's raining. But I just have to see Sam right now. I can't wait until tomorrow. Right now I just want to see Sam. It's just longing for telling her everything.

I'm just in a T-shirt but it's not cold and I also don't care about my wet hair. I just run until I'm finally at the hospital. I take the elevator and hope that there's no stupid nurse who sees me and says that I should leave.

And then there's Sam's room. I run inside and sit next to her. I take her hand and look at her face...she's still beautiful.

"Sam?" I start.

"You know when we were younger we were fighting a lot. I just think about these whole names you gave me... Fredwich, Fredifer." I smile when I think about this time. "But then we became close friends and before I could do anything you became an important part of my life. We did iCarly together and honestly, you and Carly were the only friends I had. And then we grew up we had our first kiss and our whole relationship changed... We weren't just fighting anymore, we were really good friends. We were helping each other whenever there was a need. And of course you still gave me names and hit me but that was our friendship and it'd be weird if we stopped that, right? And then something strange happened, something unexpected... I fell in love with you. I was never brave enough to tell you and so... you started to going out with Jacob. So I just tried to get over you... it didn't work. And so I had to watch how you slowly were getting weirder and weirder until you weren't the typical Sam anymore. It killed me... see you so unhappy and sad. Well, then I found out about you and your mother. You know that I was really worried about you. And I kind of thought that we became closer friends after you told me your secret... Maybe I'm wrong. But then while this happened I found out about Jacob and what he did to you. You know what happened when I found out that he raped you. Yeah and then after you came angry to my apartment you told me that you love me... And gosh, I was the happiest person of the world. That changed when I saw you and Jacob kissing... I guess I finally know that you're not in love with me and that no matter what Jacob did to you, you just love him... Then Spencer came and said that you're in coma and I stopped trying to forget you. The first thing I thought when I saw you was "You're lucky." I know you've got a miserable life and so I thought that dying is the only way you can escape your problems. And so I wasn't selfish and tried not to hope that you'll wake up... But then I had a dream, you don't need to know about what this dream was about but after this dream everything changed. I ran to the hospital and now I'm sitting here. And I'm selfish enough to beg you that you do your best to wake up and don't give up." Now the tears I tried to hold back the whole time just fall down my cheeks. And I can't help it. I just can't help it.

"Please, please wake up..." I kiss her forehead and keep crying...

* * *

**Let's stop here, okay? :) **

**It's not the best chapter and it's short but it is something right? ^^**

**Yeah and for those who want to hear this, I fell in love with the song "Cry" by Rihanna. And I thought it's a good song for a Seddie video. I'm not good at making videos honestly, I suck! xD **

**But if somebody has enough time and loves it to make videos... :D **

**It's just an idea! :P **

**REVIEW!!! x]**

**See ya! **


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi!  
**

**It's kind of sad but with the next chapter my first fanfic "iLove my best friend" will be over. :(**

**But I hope you can still enjoy this chappie xD**

**I don't own anything! **

* * *

Chapter 16

Freddie's POV

Another tear falls on Sam's face. Another time I look at this bandage around her head.

How could anybody hurt her? How could anybody do those horrible things to her? How could anybody want that she cry? How could...

"I don't know how but I know that it doesn't help if you sit here and cry... Maybe you go nuts but that isn't a big help, I guess..."

Only know I realize that I didn't think but talked. I turn around and look right in Carly's eyes. It's a "I think we should talk..."-look and so I kiss Sam's hand before I stand up and go over to Carly.

"Freddie?" I look at her. You can see that she cried a lot.

"Yeah?" A slight smile appears on my face but it doesn't stay there.

"We need to talk. Let's go outside..." Silent I follow her. I'm a little bit scared of this talk.

We finally find a bench near the hospital and sit down.

"I'm sorry..." Carly and I say at the same time.

"I'm sorry. I acted like a total jerk and I'm not better than Jacob..." I say again.

"C'mon Freddie! Jacob kissed another girl, okay. But didn't you see how guilty he felt and how sad he was, he really cares about Sam?" Anger, despair and hate are the only feelings I have.

I stand up, kick a bin next to me and tear at my hair. It's just the way I felt when I destroyed my room. No, it's worse...

"Are you blind???" Shocked, Carly looks at me while I keep screaming.

"Wha-" She can't go on.

"Jacob is an asshole! He gives a damn about Sam's feelings! He didn't when he did does things to her, he's just a stupid rapist! And he won't care about her if she dies!" Her eyes wide and I sit down on the ground.

Significantly, it's starting to rain.

"He raped her...?" Carly sits down next to me and starts to cry.

"Yeah, he did..."

"But why didn't Sam tell anything... I'm her best friend." I put my arm around her shoulder and pull her closer to me. Now have to tell her everything that I know...

"That's not the only problem Sam had to deal with..." Carly looks at me.

"What do you mean...?" Her look says "Don't tell me there is more-". But I have to tell her.

"Do you remember the day Sam had this black eye and a blue cheek?" Carly nods.

"Those injuries from that fight, right?" I just shake my head.

"It weren't any girls we met... It was her mother. And under her bandage weren't scars from a fight... She did this to herself..." C'mon Freddie!

"You lie Freddie! Please tell me you lie!" I hug her. She shouldn't see my tears...

* * *

_3 months later_

"She is still sleeping..." Carly says when she walks out of Sam's room.

'Sleeping' means she's still in a coma... Even after 3 months, she isn't waking up. Slowly everyone is losing hope.

"I see..." I sigh. Carly puts her hand on my shoulder and smiles. She doesn't want that I give up... But it's really hard. Everyday I come to the hospital with flowers in my hand and think "Today she might wake up..." And everyday it's just the "She's still sleeping." from Carly that I'm tired of.

Now I go in her room. Like everyday, I'll have to force myself not to cry, I'll look at her beautiful face and imagine how it'd be if she opened her eyes...

I want to look in her blue eyes...

"Sam... Why don't you finally wake up? You don't have to worry about anything. Spencer and Carly said you could stay in their apartment while your mom is in the rehab clinic... And Jacob won't do anything to you. He won't even show up here." No reaction...

I take her hand.

"You know Sam... I haven't seen your eyes in a while." I smile, knowing that she doesn't see me.

"Sam you have to wake up... If you don't wake up in the next three days you won't see those beautiful flowers I brought you." Silence...

"I guess, I'll go now... Maybe I'm not coming tomorrow." Wait.., What did I say? 'Maybe I'm not coming tomorrow.'... It's the first time I wouldn't come to see her. And today I stay just 3 minutes?

"I'm tired of sitting here and waiting for you to wake up..." What!? What's wrong with me... Am I really tired of Sam?

"No... I'm not." Right?...

"I'm just tired..." I guess that's the real reason. I didn't sleep well the last three months.

"You know I love you." Does she know? I mean she can't even hear me. Somehow, I want to show her... And not with some stupid flowers.

I run out of the room and go to Spencer and Carly who are about to leave the hospital.

"Wait!" Surprised they turn around. I wouldn't wonder if they think I'm crazy.

"What is it Freddie?" Spencer says annoyed. He's still a little bit angry because of this whole sleeping-with-Carly-just-to-forget-about-your-pain-thing. However, I guess Spencer will get over it. Carly also did after we talked. I'm really happy that we still can act like we did before 'it' happened.

"Can you guys tell my mom that I won't come home tonight?" Carly nods but the surprised look didn't disappear yet.

"Uhm... If you don't come home... where do you wanna stay tonight?" Spencer looks at me.

"You won't sleep in our apartment!" Carly hits Spencer's arm. "Spencer!... You don't want to stay in our apartment, right?"

"Nope, don't worry. I just want to sleep in Sam's room..."

"Do you think you can just stay there so easily?" This question is from Carly. But where's the problem, I mean I won't do something to her...

"I think that isn't a problem, I just ask a nurse. Can I text you later?"

"Of course. Well, good luck and sleep well." She waves while she turns around and goes to the exit.

After I can't see them anymore I run to the nurse who is about to go in a room.

"Uhm... sorry?" It's a thick nurse and she doesn't looks like you shouldn't make fun of her.

"What's wrong?" Wow, she sounds kind.

"I've got a question. Can I sleep in the room of Sam Puckett? She's in a coma and I thought it woul-" Suddenly she puts her hand on my shoulder.

"Are you Freddie Benson?" I nod. Why does she know my name?

"Of course you can! You are the one who visits her everyday. I'm going to fetch a bed for you... so you don't need to sleep on the ground, okay?" She smiles at me. And one second after I nod she runs away... I guess she's looking for a bed.

I give a shrug and go back to Sam's room.

"Hey Sam! I will sleep here tonight. Maybe I can sleep better then..." I smile, I know she won't wake up so fast but right now I'm just happy that she's alive.

"Hey look, it's 8pm and I didn't do my homework yet. I'm turning into a bad boy." I laugh and suddenly I hear a sob. After I turn around I see the thick nurse.

"I-I'm sorry... Here's the bed." Quickly she pushes the bed with a pillow and a blanket on it in the room.

"Thank you." I push the bed closer to Sam's and sit down on it.

"Don't lose hope... She'll wake up." Then she leaves. It's like in a weird movie...

* * *

Carly's POV

"Spencer?" I'm standing on Spencer's bed. It's 4am.

"Freddie, Sam? Leave me alone... I won't eat any soup." He says and then he turns around.

"Soup?" And suddenly I realize what he's meaning. Spencer talks about "Wake up Spencer". Freddie and Sam did this always together...

I leave Spencer's room and run into the iCarly studio. There's standing Freddie's laptop. Slowly I open it. The monitor lights up...

The background image is a picture of Sam, Freddie and me. My eyes are getting wet. What happens if Sam doesn't wake up. What's happening with iCarly then?

I open a folder that's called "iCarly stuff". There are pictures and videos of iCarly. But where's "Wake up Spencer"?

"Ah, there is it..." I press play and then I hear Sam's and Freddie's laugh when they say "Where's your soup Spencer?". That's what he meant when he said he won't eat any soup.

I take Freddie's laptop, sit down on a beanbag, and start to watch the first show we ever made. I also watch the second and the 71st iCarly. While I watch them, some tears fall down my cheek and first I don't notice.

All those shows remember me of the good times we had. Are those good times over? I mean what if Sam doesn't wake up? Will we ever do iCarly again? Without Sam, iCarly wouldn't be the same. Those little fights she and Freddie always had made iCarly so much better and funnier...

And not only iCarly, everything would be stupid and boring without Sam. I wouldn't just lose my co-host... I would lose my best friend, one of the most important parts in my life.

More tears fall down my face. These three months she's in coma, I always tried to be strong and tried to believe that she's waking up. I always smiled when I came out of her room and said, "She's still sleeping...", even if I was near crying. But now I can't hold back my tears.

"She'll wake up! She'll!" I say while I sob. "She'll open her eyes."

* * *

Freddie's POV

It's already dark outside and I'm getting tired. So I was right when I said "Maybe I can sleep better then."

It is weird but I calm down... Is it because Sam's close to me? Whatever... I'm to tired to think about something like this...

"Good night Sam!" And so I slowly fall asleep. This time I have only nice dreams...

* * *

"Freddie? What are you doing here?" Slowly I open my eyes. Blue eyes are looking in my eyes...

"Sam!?" Confused she's looking at me.

"Uhm... Yes?" This is Sam! Her blue eyes are open.

"SAM!!!" I jump out of my bed and hug Sam while tears are filling my eyes.

"Freddie... What's wrong with you?" I look into her deep blue eyes.

"Nothing is wrong with me... I'm just happy." Sam seems like she slowly remembers everything.

"Why I'm in the hospital?" I put my hand on her cheek.

"You were in a coma... Your mom-" She nods. I guess she doesn't want to hear that.

"How long I've been sleeping?"

"Three months..." Sam's eyes wide and she just says "What!?"

"And you waited all the time for me to wake up?" There are also falling tears down her face.

"Of course I did..." Now she's the one who's hugging me.

"Freddie... I love you..." She looks me into my eyes and I guess she wants to kiss me. And gosh, I'd love to kiss her but I can't. There's still this whole thing with Carly and I'm still confused because of Jacob.

"I'm sorry..." I apologize Sam looks down.

"Freddie, I know that with Jacob was stupid and I was just-" I interrupt her.

"It's not only because of Jacob..." I sigh.

"Not ONLY because of Jacob...? Freddie I just want that you know I really, really love-"

"I slept with Carly!" Surprised Sam is looking at me.

"You slept with Carly? When... and why?" I just can't look in her eyes anymore.

"Well, it happened after I saw you and Jacob... Just a short time before you had to go to the hospital. I'm sorry. I was just... I didn't do that because I love her! The only person I love-" She gives me a slight smile.

"It's okay now we're even?" I cry and smile at the same time while I say, "I'm really sorry..."

Then after we both apologized a thousand times, we kiss...

It's better than the kiss I dreamed of this one night. And this time she won't disappear...

"I love you."

"I love you too."

After we calm down, we start to talk about everything. Even about unimportant things. But we just don't stop talking. It's crazy but we talk until the sun rises... I know I should text Carly what happened and fetch a nurse, but I'm so happy right now... Nothing should disrupt this moment...

* * *

**YAY! Sam woke up!**

**I hope I can post the last chapter tomorrow... :)**

**There won't be any twists in the next chapter anymore, you don't have to be scared x'D**

**Somehow, I don't want that this story ends. x(**

**Whatever... **

**Please REVIEW! (Maybe this will helping me to upload faster) ;D**

**See you guys! x3 **


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi :]**

**You're about to read the last chapter of "iLove my best friend"... But before you do that, I just wanted to say TH****ANK YOU SO MUCH for reading, reviewing and adding this story to your favorite stories. **

**You're the best! x) **

**Now read! (I don't want you to see my tears) :'(**

**I don't own anything! ;D**

* * *

Chapter 17

Carly's POV

"Hello is everybody watchin'?..." Ginger Fox' wakes me up. Who calls me at, I look at my clock, 6.30am? C'mon it's Saturday! I take my phone.

"Hello?" I say really annoyed.

"Carly!" My mouth opens but I can't make a sound. Am I going crazy or is this actually Sam's voice?

"Carly...?" After I pinched myself, making clear that I'm not sleeping, I say something.

"Uhm... Are you Sam?" Right now, I'm really sure that she's smiling...

"I guess I am..." She giggles. Sam... She finally woke up!

"Sam! I'm coming to the hospital right now. I'll be right there..." I'm already taking on my jeans and a t-shirt while I say this.

"Okay. Bye!" Then she hangs up. I am breathing in deep and pinching myself again. Sam was on the phone right now... She talked to me...

"Spencer!" I scream, running into his room.

When he doesn't wake up I take his blanket, throw it away and scream again.

"Spencer! Wake up!" Finally he opens his eyes and looks at me.

"Are you crazy???" My third scream is the answer for his question.

"Sam woke up! You have to drive me to the hospital! C'mon take on your clothes, brush your teeth and don't sit here like nothing happened!"

"Sam woke up?" I roll my eyes.

"Did you listen to me? Yes I said that!" Then I run out of his room and brush my teeth...

I also comb my hair. And when I'm ready, I am going to Spencer. I will kill him if he isn't ready now.

"Spencer?" I go in the living room.

"You're lucky..." I say smiling, when I see him taking his jacket.

"You wanted to kill me if I wasn't ready yet, right?..." He looks at me and tries to smile...

"Yes. Let's go!" So we run downstairs and go to Spencer's car.

* * *

Sam's POV

I put Freddie's phone on the table next to me. And before I can do anything he puts his arms around me.

"Sam... I'm so happy that you're awake." The way he whispers those words in my ear makes my skin crawl. When he says something like this in a way like it makes me speechless and makes me want to stay so forever...

These thoughts are not of the Sam I know...

"Oh, you're smiling? And wait you're blushing..." He says giggling when he looks at me. I didn't notice that my heads not longer on his chest, and so he could see my face the way it looks when I'm in his arms. So I'm just blushing more...

"Haha... I could also laugh at you! You should have heard your voice when you said 'I'm so happy that you're awake.'" My imitation sounds so weird... "Haha... You sounded like you were in trance or something..." I flail my arms while saying these stupid, senseless words. He just makes me nervous... But isn't he Freddie after all? He just makes me nervous all the time after I woke up. That's why I'm acting so stupid.

"I sounded like I was in trance... And you _looked_ like you were in trance." He smiles. Could he please stop that?

"So we complement each other..." That's an good answer. I wonder how he doesn't make fun of my weird behavior.

"But could it be that you're nervous?" I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Sort of..." I just mumble...

"Why? Is it because of me?" He grins, knowing the answers.

"I don't want to make you nervous... I mean it's really cool making girls nervous... but I want to be someone who makes you calm down. So don't be nervous, alright?" Then he smiles again. Is this Freddie?

"Alright... I'll try my best." I smile the cutest way I can. Now he should also be nervous, only one time. He shouldn't be so calm while I'm going crazy.

Instead of getting nervous, he shakes his head, laughing. Then he whispers something I don't understand and kisses my forehead.

* * *

Carly's POV

"Hurry up, Spence!" I say while running upstairs. I'm not sure why I'm running. What happens if I see Freddie and Sam do something like kissing or hugging? I mean, Freddie and I are friends again and cleared things up but... _I'm still in love with him._

Before I can go on with thinking, I arrived at Sam's room. I go in... Sam and Freddie are not hugging or kissing... I'm lucky.

"Sam..." I look at her. Tears are starting to fill my eyes.

"Carls!" Smiling she runs to me and gives me a hug. My best friend is back. Sam is awake.

The tears are just falling down my face. I'm so happy! My happiness let me forget my fears...

Actually, I don't want to let her go... But she also hugs Spencer after a while.

"Welcome back Sam..." He's smiling at her. Sam was always like a little sister to him.

"Thanks Spence." Thankful she looks in his eyes. Then she goes back to Freddie, she's standing next to him now.

I'd lie if I said I'm not jealous but... it's not _such _a way of being jealous. How can I describe that? I _am_ jealous but I'm also happy for them, because they're my best friends. And I wish my best friends just the best... And when I look at them like it is the best way it is right now...

"Wow..." I say to myself, surprised that I can be soo...

"I know!" Sam says loud. Confused I look at her.

"I mean... Even if you were very hungry you wouldn't eat your dead friends leg. But he did! He survived but he ate the leg of his –" Freddie makes a weird face.

"Could you please stop talking about something like this? You know I –" Now he stops talking. He looks at me... I know why he stopped talking. It's something that would hurt me.

"Fine... I've thought you missed my voice after three months but fine, I'll be quiet." Everyone is laughing. But I just can't stop thinking about this look from Freddie when he said 'You know I...'

I don't want that he's treating me like I could collapse every time he says something to her. I guess we three have to talk...

"I know everyone is happy but I'll talk to the doctor, fine?" Sam, Freddie and I nod while I start to ask myself if Spencer is turning into an Edward Cullen, who can also read minds.

"I'm really happy... When are we going to do the next iCarly? What about a special one, like 'YAY-iCarly-is-back-special'?" I smile. Now it's the right moment to talk about this, right? So I just ask before anyone can answer my question.

"Sam?" I ask...

"Mh?" When I look into her eyes, I'm not sure about asking her that. But I have to!

"Do you know what happened between me and-" Her eyes widen when she understands but then she's interrupting me.

"I know and I already told Freddie it's okay!" Obviously, she can talk about someone who ate his friends' leg but not about that.

"I don't want that _this_ changes anything. You can talk to each other the way you want. Don't care about me, okay? I can take it!" I laugh, but this is so awkward...

"Uhm... Fine." Freddie I smile but everything in me screams 'AWKWARD!'

"Cool... Okay then what about this whole special-iCarly-thing?" So that was done...

* * *

Freddie's POV

"In 3, 2..." It's been a while since I said this. 'Samantha is fine, you can taker her home' the doctor told Spencer when he walked out of her room to talk to him.

We're all happy about that, of course. Sam's living in Carly's apartment until her mother is 'fine'. Jacob is still in our school and Sam never wanted that he get in trouble... So, Carly and I never said anything to the police.

Sadly, Sam has to take the class again. Of course, she missed 3 months of school. First, we wanted to help her with the whole stuff she missed but it's almost impossible.

Whatever, now we're doing our YAY-iCarly-is-back-special. Right, we liked Carly's idea, even if the whole conversation was a little bit awkward...

I laugh while Sam and Carly are turning around to look right in the camera.

"Hellooo!" They say at the same time.

"And welcome to our YAY-iCarly-is-back-special!" Carly says with a low voice.

"Yep, We're back!" The blonde-haired girl says laughing while she put her head near to the camera.

When she looks up to me, I smile at her. She blushes, again. I don't know what happened to the real Sam but this actually always blushes when I smile at her... weird. I should be the one who blushes every time I look in those beautiful, blue eyes...

"Gosh, the dork behind the camera isn't able to handle this camera. We're here!!!" I can hear Carly's laugh when Sam says this. Only now, I realize that the camera is shooting the ground.

"Maybe the dork should come in front of the camera so our fans can see the whole iCarly-gang..." Again those blue eyes are looking at me. Maybe the old Sam and the always-blushing Sam are sharing one body. Who knows... I just put the camera on the tech-table and turn camera B on.

Automatically I'm going to Sam's side.

"Hey!" I also wave.

"So here are all three of us!" Carly says smiling. Then they're going on with all the things they planned. After a while, I go behind the camera, I feel better there.

In addition, they are doing some stuff, where they need some space...

"So... Now the YAY-iCarly-is-back-special over..." Sam presses the 'Awww'-button on her blue remote.

"But don't worry. You can watch iCarly next week again!" I nod... Wait nobody can see me.

"Just comment and tell us what you think about our show... Now, BYE!" They wave like they did at the beginning.

"And we're clear!" I smile. "I missed this sentence." Sam and Carly are laughing but I really missed to say 'We're clear!'... Maybe I'm a little bit crazy.

"And now Sam..." Carly smiles at me. "Let's celebrate!" Carly screams then and many people come into our iCarly studio. It reminds me of Sam's birthday party.

"Wow!" Sam looks at all the people around her.

* * *

I try to make my way through the crowd and actually, I stand in front of Sam.

I put my hands on her waist and pull her closer to me. Suddenly the crowd around us stops talking, dancing and all things they did before.

"What do you think about your welcome-back-Sam-party?" I smile while saying this.

"I love it! Thank you so much!" That she means what she's saying is clear. She looks very happy. And that makes _me_ happy.

"Great! Let's check out the comments our fans sent us, okay?" She's nodding, so I take her hand and go upstairs. I could also use the computer in the living room but I don't want to.

"Why we're not using Carly's computer? I mean so we have to leave all guests alone!" I shake my head.

"Oh no!" I say like I were in shock. "Carly is downstairs and checking out the comments won't last forever..."

She's rolling her eyes. "Fine!"

We're looking at the comments and while I grin Sam, guess what, blushes.

"Did I really look at you this way?" She says more to herself than to me, when she reads some comments.

"Hey Carly, Sam and Freddie,

I'm so happy that you're back!!! ^___^

But I wonder what happened btw Sam and Freddie... The way Sam looked at him... ;D

-iCarlyfan"

"Sam and Freddie are in love! xD

-anonym"

"I don't know but I guess!" I burst out laughing. I knew our fans were not stupid...

"Oh my gosh! What we're going to do now?" She's acting like someone found out that she's in love with a monkey.

"We can choose between: screaming and acting weird or we just don't care about it and are a couple..." She looks down, is she ashamed?

"I'm sorry... I still don't get this whole thing. You know you, me and being a couple..." She smiles. I can understand her a little bit. Sam and Freddie, are a couple? That sounds weird. But it is the way it is. I love her she loves me... I can't change it.

"Sam, there's no need to apologize. I'm cool with it..." I put my hand on her cheek and kiss her. At the beginning, it's just a soft kiss but after a while it turns in making out. I put her hand on her face and pull her closer to me. She runs her fingers through my hair...

"Ahhhh!" Gibby screams and so the others are also coming.

"What happened, Gibby?" Wendy asks.

"Sam and Freddie...MADE OUT!" Wendy laughs when she's hearing this answer.

"We all know they kissed... But that happened long time ago..." Gibby shakes his head after he almost collapsed.

"I don't mean _this_ kiss-" Suddenly Sam takes my hand.

"Yeah we're going out... Do you want to freak out?" I hear some people say 'Oh my gosh' and 'Really!?' Only Wendy says 'Awww, I knew it.'

Sam smiles at me with her blue eyes...

* * *

**That was it... the last chapter of iLove my best friend. **

**And again I want to say thank you for supporting me all the time. This is/was my first fanfic and I never thought that you would like it so much...  
**

**You could also REVIEW... ;D  
**

**I hope you'll also read other stories (if I have some good ideas) xD **

**I love you! x3**


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